


Garrison Records

by dark3rainbow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music Store, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Friend Supporting Each Other, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Happy Ending, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, Loosely Based on Empire Records (1995), Loosely Based on a 90s Movie, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Summer Jobs, Underage Drinking, deancaspinefest, everyone knows, summer time, the music is all around them, they don't actually sing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23405581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark3rainbow/pseuds/dark3rainbow
Summary: Castiel's life has always been filled with lyric and rhythm, but a new addition to town might just help and give the little push for his friendships to become something else.Dean's life has been all over the place for as far as he can remember, but a new friend might show him what love is and how it can change everything.In a store called Garrison Records, where music is always all around, a new beat is about to begin.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 30
Kudos: 61
Collections: Dean/Cas Pinefest 2020





	1. summer '17 - lightning in a bottle

**Author's Note:**

> This is it! Finally! My first pinefest is now live to the world and I'm sooo excited!!!  
> Thank you for giving this story a chance and I fully recommend you to watch Empire Records, the movie that slightly inspired this fic cuz it's a wonderful story about friendship and music, just like this one.  
> A huge thanks and shoutout to my beta Hannah and amazing friend who heard me rant about this from when it was just a tiny idea in my head to when I was sure I wasn't going to finish it in time.  
> And also, check the art by kysprite, she did a wonderful job, reading my emails sent at 10 pm explaining weird stuff that she probably didn't need to know but read anyway. It was a pleasure working alongisde her!  
> And thank you so much to the mods on Pinefest, Mittens and Cass, they were a huge help with keeping my nerves in control.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds his personal heaven and his own personal angel - sorta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Song for the chapter : Electric Love by BØRNS

Graceport was a lovely town, with 25,000 neighbors and a tourist season every summer. It really sounded like a paradise come true and for the Winchesters, it really was. 

His mother had suggested Dean explore the town if he was that tired of moving boxes and fixing up his own room exactly the way he wants it without his little brother Sammy to mess everything up. And he was tired, so he followed his mom’s advice and wandered the streets of  _ Graceport _ . The town wasn’t exactly big. As far as Dean knew, it was a tourist trap most of summer which, fortunately, had started a few days ago. With no classes in sight, minus summer school, the streets were buzzing with kids and teenagers. 

Dean passed a few restaurants that looked a bit pricey, two sort of cafés located one across from the other, a library, the movie theater and even a museum of the town’s history. All of them packed, even the museum. He decided to try one of the cafés. Inside, he realized they didn’t sell coffee  — “Unlike our mortal enemies from over there,” the woman said the last part with venom in her tongue, “we serve drinks that give you healthy energy, filled with vitamins and power” — , but smoothies. Now, Dean hated eating fruits and vegetables, but for some strange reason, he loved smoothies, so he ordered himself one of Strawberry-Pineapple.

He drank half of it in one gulp.

After paying, he had his mind set on going to the library and picking a book or two to take home when he saw _it_. The two-story building painted in red with the name in the rooftop —letters as big as the one in a billboard— wasn’t what caught his attention; it was the music coming out of the giant speakers from outside. An old rock song that Dean couldn’t quite remember the name of was playing and it sent chills all over his body. It made him smile, a weird feeling spreading throughout his body. It wasn’t nostalgia, but a very similar warmth was filling him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet; it had nothing to do with the heat of the summer. 

Dean, still sipping from his drink, disposable paper cups, no straw, of course, crossed the street and entered what would appear to be a music store. Garrison Records.

He wasn’t prepared. 

Aisles and aisles filled with discs, cassettes, vinyl and who knows what else. It was Dean’s personal heaven. 

The annoyingly familiar rock song was coming to an end and a new one that he for sure didn’t know began. One of the cashiers, a blond girl with a round face, complained when she seemed to recognize the song. 

“No, no, no. Full veto on this one. Garth!” she yelled. A skinny boy with a pair of shades perched on his nose appeared at the edge of the second floor. “I’m so not listening to your weird music again, so stop choosing them!”

“ _ Bonnie And Clyde _ is a masterpiece, Meg! It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate art.”

Meg huffed. “Yeah, yeah. Pure art”, she raised a remote control in the air and pushed a button,  _ Midnight City _ by M83 replacing the last tune, “that we’re  _ so _ not gonna indulge in.” 

With that, Garth went back to work and Meg just smiled in victory. The other cashier, a redheaded girl, gave Meg a mean look but laughed alongside her. The employees seemed to be around his age and that made him nervous. 

Dean wasn’t very good at making friends for some reason. 

Although, he’d been told he had a charming smile and sensible eyes – whatever that means – his old school peers never really seemed to like him that much. He never really bothered with them anyway because he always knew his time was limited. But not this time. The Winchesters were staying in this paradise town for good. For the first time in a very long time, Dean had the option to care, to actually make friends. Even if he had only one year of high school left, Dean needed to make friends. Dean  _ wanted _ to make friends. 

He couldn’t hang out with his little brother his whole life. Well, he _could_ but _,_ that’d be lame.

Waking up from his daydream, he walked to the cassette section and went straight to the classic rock. 

John and Mary Winchester were old school. They had a black muscle car and her radio only took cassettes, his father refusing to modify her. Dean loved that car, he even called her Baby, and one day, she will be his. But for now, the only thing he could do for the only love in his life was stocking the music choices. 

The other thing about his parents, they only listened to classic rock and old country. And according to his dad, anything after 1979 sucks. He didn’t dare to disagree with his old man.

Dean kept searching the stacks when he felt a presence next to him. He turned his head, his fingers stopping. The kid next to him had brown, black-ish hair, soft blue eyes and a small smile directed at him. Dean’s mouth opened a little at seeing what the guy was wearing, a white button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of shorts, khakis. A pair of black framed glasses were on top of his head, giving him a nerdy look and that made Dean swallow.

“Hi. My name is Castiel. Is there anything I can do to assist you?” The guy, Castiel, asked. _ What a mouthful _ Dean thought.

“I’m Dean.”

Castiel smiled again, this time wider. “Hello Dean.”

His mind started to get a bit foggy, small alarms going on his brain telling him to retreat. Dean tried to quiet them down and breathed through his nose. “Hi.” He felt stupid but saying something seemed to help him. 

“Yeah, I-” he kept going, “I’m looking for old new weird content for my car, my dad’s old car, that is.”

He smiled yet again and Dean’s focus started to slip again. “Your dad’s old car that you love, I presume.” Dean only nodded. “Anything after the 80’s sucks?”

It was his time to smile at that. “79, actually.”

Cas laughed; the first time since he introduced himself and it warmed his chest. Dean liked the feeling. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before and he wanted more.

“We have everything from the Rolling Stones to Fleetwood Mac, I’m pretty sure there’s something that you’d like.”

Dean nodded and mouthed a yeah. 

“But you should throw that smoothie, just in case. You damage something, you pay for it.”

He eyed the paper cup, still with some juice on it, set in the thin wall dividing one rack from the other. He had forgotten all about it, which was unlike him.

“Right. I’ll do that.” Before he could, Cas took the cup and gave it a sip. He passed his tongue over his lips, getting a few drops of the smoothie that were left. Dean mirrored the gesture. He stopped when he caught himself doing it.  _ Huh.  _ Dean thought.  _ Why did I….  _ Dean shook the thought from his head and focused back on the boy in front of him, who had just started speaking again.

Castiel smiled at him again. “I’ll throw it for you, don’t worry.” He left.

He watched the guy go for a few seconds. Then, he convinced himself to keep looking for new music. The guy mentioned the Stones. He and Sammy could go for some of that. 

♫♫♫♫♫

Castiel went into the back, to the storage. 

He liked to think of himself as a customer pleaser, always doing more than what he was asked to do. An initiative response, his uncle would say. That’s why he was looking at the store’s oldest records and cassettes, the ones that didn’t sell and yet his brother wouldn’t get rid of  — “they’re classics, Cassie, just because people don’t appreciate them, it doesn’t mean we have to throw them out”. Dean would certainly appreciate them.

That’s why Castiel was looking for them, to help the new client out. There was no other reason. Nope. No ulterior motive here.

He had never seen the guy before, but that wasn’t weird considering it was a beach town. People came and left quicker than the tide came in and out. That's the way it has always been. That’s the way it always will be in Graceport. _I wonder if he will stay or leave?_ Cas’s own thoughts betrayed him as he was looking for cassettes. He looked around his age, a bit taller than Castiel. And he was handsome. His mind tried to come up with a different word, a _better_ word, to describe the guy but Castiel wouldn’t let it. He was still getting used to the idea of using other, more descriptive, more appreciative words to describe men. But _handsome_ was a good enough word , neutral. It was safe; for now. 

Castiel sighed. That was a mental discussion for another day.

His fingers kept sliding through the boxes until he found some rare pieces from old rock bands. Smiling in success, he took the tapes with him and went back to the front. 

♫♫♫♫♫

Dean found a few albums he thought his dad didn’t have yet. It was the best he got so he decided to take them with him. Some Zepp, The Doors and Blue Öyster Cult always made his father very happy and with the moving, Dean damn sure needed his father to be smiling.

The move hadn’t been really easy, considering it was their last one. His father had been with the Marine Corps for over thirty years and he had finally decided to retire. His dad moved a lot for the first four years of his life, Dean and his mom living in Lawrence, Kansas until she got pregnant with his brother. When Sammy was six months old, she decided to move alongside her husband every time he was moved to another base, so they could stay a family. And that’s how he had found himself moving every six months or so into another city for almost his whole life. 

But it didn’t matter anymore. They had a new fully paid home, this beach town and the chance for a new life, a real one this time.

Dean chuckled.

“Everything alright there, new kid?” The redhead girl said to him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just getting this.” He showed her the few cassettes he picked and a few cd’s that were on a basket with a sign that said  _ sale _ .

The girl whistled at his purchases. “You sure like the oldies, huh?”

He shrugged. “My dad does. I just follow in his footsteps.”

“And yet, you seem to like indie rock as well.” She said while staring at the covers of the cd’s he picked. Yeah, okay, Dean liked music from this era too, his father didn’t know though. Dean tended to hide his music stash in a shoe box. 

John Winchester could be as loving just as he could be strict. He let Sam dye the tips of his hair green once and he hadn’t said anything when he saw a private picture in Dean’s phone that he sure as hell shouldn’t have seen. But one thing his father would never forgive was listening to current music.

Dean could feel the disappointing look from his dad if he ever found out.

“You have good taste, though.” The girl kept talking. “Bon Iver is a must, Sam Smith is a force to be reckoned with his lyrics and you can never go wrong with Fitz and the Tantrums.”

He smiled at her. “I’m Dean.” He offered his hand as well as some money.

“Charlie Bradbury.” She took the money and shook his hand. “Also, I’m super gay. Let’s get that out of the way so we can be friends.”

Dean chuckled at that. “Oh, we’re gonna get along just fine, Charles.”

“Tourist?” She asked. “Families come to vacation in the summer every year so we get interesting and different customers every year.”

“No. We just moved in. You’ll be seeing a lot of me, red.” Dean said, smirking down at his new friend. 

“You moved here?”

Dean jumped. Castiel had appeared by his side out of nowhere with his head tilted to one side, worried eyes following him. 

“Jesus! We need to put a bell on you, buddy.” 

Charlie giggled, pleased that she finally has someone else to tease Cas with, other than Meg.

“That’s what I’ve always said!”, Cas just stared at his co-worker and rolled his eyes. Then, he turned at Dean and handed him a cassette.

Dean frowned. “What’s this?” He eyed the black rectangle but neither the artist nor the album’s name were listed. There were only six numbers in pink printed at the bottom.

“Prince.  _ The Black Album _ .” 

Dean almost dropped it out of shock. He gripped the cassette tighter. His head flew up to look at the boy who had handed him the treasure. 

“No. Freaking. Way.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Hell no.”

“I believed I’ve said yes already.”

“This is too much.”

“Can someone explain to me what’s going on?”

The two boys stopped staring at each other’s eyes and looked at the very puzzled girl standing behind the counter.

Dean replied. “It’s just one of the most difficult albums to find in cassette form. Dude, how did you find this?”

Cas smiled and Dean felt again the weird movement in his insides. Nope. No time for that. “It was in the back room. I was trying to find some weird stuff for you and this was in one of the boxes I was looking for.”

Dean squinted his eyes. “You couldn’t have known I was gonna like this though.”

“You seemed like a smart person.” Cas said, looking Dean in the eyes, sincerity shining through. 

Dean smiled first, just a tiny one but showing his teeth, then he let out a small chuckle, dropping his head for a second just to raise it immediately. He smiled at Cas, this time a lipped-tight one, and looked at him.

Castiel was looking back at him. He was smiling too.

“So, you moved here?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “me and my family just came from Kansas.” It was easier to say than they’ve been everywhere.

Castiel whistled. “Long journey. What got you to Cali?”

“The beach.”

Cas chuckled. “Alright, beach boy, since you’re new in town and seems like you’re staying, you want a tour?”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Of the town or the store?” He asked.

“Both.” Castiel shrugged. “But first the store, since we’re already here.”

Dean stared at the guy some more. His eyes were blue, he had already noticed that, but there was some kind of spark in them that made Dean feel uneasy. His skin was also tanned; unlike Charlie whose skin was very light. That told him that Castiel liked going to the beach, maybe he was a surfer. 

At last, Dean saw his lips, dried and pink. Unmoving and yet, they were lifting for a smile. A smile at him. There was that warmth again, settling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was noticeable.

“Alright.” Dean said. “Let’s check this place out then.”

Castiel showed him the ground floor first. He had seen it all already but he let himself be shown again. It was hard to say no to the gleam in Cas’s eyes as he showed Dean around. It was clear how much this store meant to him. Stacks and stacks filled with music, from every genre imaginable. Apparently, the owner, Castiel’s brother Gabriel, loved everything. To Dean, that seemed unlikely, there was no way someone could like every style of music. It was unnatural.

Castiel had to agree at that. For example, he didn’t like metal although he confided in Dean that he had tried a few years back but to no avail. Dean didn’t mind metal but he couldn’t stand soft music.

“Soft?” Cas questioned, tilting his head in confusion.

“Slow music.” He explained. “I need a fast beat to keep my interest.”

“That’s a bit odd.” 

“Well, Cas, I can be odd.” Dean quipped, raising an eyebrow. 

Castiel tilted his head again at hearing the nickname but said nothing about it. Dean sighed.

They continued the tour, Cas showing Dean the vinyl, the cd’s, and the accessories they sell. If they were selling old things like cassettes they had to sell the means for people to listen, not just the vinyl. 

“So, you sell Walkman?” Dean questioned, amusement clear on his face.

“Legally, we can’t call them that. We sell  _ Portable Stereo Devices _ .” Cas replied, annoyance seeping into his voice.

“You’re joking,” He scoffed. 

“Sweet Jesus, I wish I was.” Cas sighed.

After that, they went to the second floor. At the top of the stairs, a big board took the entire wall. It was made of cork, just like the notice boards in schools, filled with pictures, some old, some new. In the old ones, an awkward looking guy was posing with some celebrities. 

“Are those who I think they are?” He questioned, impressed.

“Every single one of them.” Cas replied, proud of the board.

The new pictures had Cas in a few of them but in most, there was this smaller fellow with dark blond hair and a mischievous smile, sometimes with a lollipop in his mouth. 

“That’s my brother Gabe. He bought the store from my Uncle Chuck, the man in the other pictures.”

In the middle of the board, there was a plaque telling the history of the store.

**Garrison Records was opened in 1978 by Chuck Shurley, a weird kind of guy and famous songwriter. His sons, Michael and Luke, inherited the place in 2010; unfortunately, they didn’t share their father’s passion for music and were almost bought by a chain store. Their cousin, Gabriel Milton, had been granted a small fortune by Nana Milton and bought the Garrison from their cousins. He’d been running the business alongside his younger brother Castiel since then.**  
  
---  
  
“Damn. Wait, so you’re the owner as well?” Dean asked. The guy seemed around his age, was he wrong?

“No, not yet. But that’s the plan, at least after college, right after I get my accounting degree.” Cas smiled, reaching his eyes.

“Sweet.”

They kept the tour going. They went into another part of the store where on one side of the room the floor had lines and lines of different musical instruments ranging from brass to wind to string to percussion. Dean’s eyes opened wide with shock. His hands went immediately to the closest guitar and started thrumming some strings.

Cas just stood there, watching him fool around.

When the song that had been playing in the store changed for something that Dean did know, he started playing it. He hummed while his fingers slid slowly into the familiar chords of  _ Whipping Post _ . For a moment, he forgot someone else was in the room with him. When the song ended, so did he. Dean looked up and his eyes met Cas’.

“You’re very good, Dean.” Cas told him, while putting a couple of guitars back where they belonged. 

He blushed but said nothing, still mindlessly playing along.

“C’mon. There’s one more thing to show you before you have to go.” Cas told him as he started to walk in a new direction. 

He had to go? _Go? As in leave?_ _Right, moving day,_ Dean thought, disappointment creeping into his mind. He shouldn’t leave his family with all the heavy lifting, should he? Dean hadn’t felt this comfortable around new people in a long time. Actually, ever. He had never been this comfortable with a stranger. No, Castiel wasn’t a stranger. He was a friend. The thought that Dean made two friends in one day made him smile. He put the guitar back where he found it and stood up to see where this last stop on the tour will take him. 

He shook his head and followed Cas to the other side of the floor. A long line of booths went from the front of the room to the back, hugging the wall. What the hell was going on here? Dean’s thoughts raced as to all the things that could be happening inside the booths. 

“Uncle Chuck thought it’d be useful for people when they needed some alone time to listen to music. Of course, this was when there was no internet and no smart phones. Gabe and I thought of doing something else with the space. But it turns out, people still like coming here and listening to music.”

“No shit.” Dean said quietly, looking around in awe.

“Yeah. So, we rent a booth five bucks per hour and they can choose any song that’s on our playlist.” Cas explained.

Dean was impressed. At the time, almost all the booths were occupied, men, women, even couples were tugged together in the small place.

“Isn’t it dangerous to let couples get in together?” Dean asked, observing several of those in the booths. 

Cas shrugged. “We tried but music can be great for bonding and reconciliation, as you probably know. So, we just let the clients know that they’re being filmed and if anything salacious happens inside one of those booths, the tape will end up on the internet.”

“You guys are crazy.” Dean laughed. “It seems too small for two people to go in. What if two guys want to get in?” The question slipped out before Dean’s brain caught up to his mouth. It was times like this that Dean really does hate that he didn’t seem to have a filter. He had put his foot in his mouth on more than one occasion and this was just adding to the list of things for Sammy to tease him about when he eventually found out. Because he would, Sam always knew.

“What do you mean?” Castiel bristled, his face turning serious all of the sudden.

Dean noticed the change. “I mean the space looks small. If you and I, for example,” he wanted to shut up when he realized what his mind was coming up with, “got in there, wouldn’t it be a tight squeeze?”

_ Dear lord, kill me now _ , Dean thought.  _ I really hope I didn’t just mess this up... _

But Castiel didn’t seem to think anything was weird about Dean’s reasoning and appeared to even begin considering the idea.

“Care to find out?” He finally said.

Cas pushed him inside of one of the booths, not giving Dean time to react one way or the other, almost making him trip. Cas shoved a pair of big headphones into Dean’s hands motioning for him to put them on as Castiel does his own pair. After adjusting the headphones, Cas started scrolling through the list of songs, determined to find something that Dean hadn’t heard before. After a few seconds, the beat of drums started ringing in their ears, along with a lush voice that made him think of pure sweetness.

_ Candy, she’s sweet like candy in my veins _

_ Baby, I’m dying for another taste _

Dean hated to admit it but he liked the song, it was smooth, not slow but not fast either; the guy singing had a soothing voice that let you relax and the lyrics, although not deep, were fun and sexy.

_ And every night my mind is running around her _

_ Then it’s getting louder and louder and louder _

Dean looked up, he had been staring at his and Cas’ feet the entire time, his eyes connecting to a pair of blue ones. Really blue. Like energy.  _ Electric blue _ he thought. The kind of blue you see in neon signs at night when almost everyone is asleep and the world is dark and the pavement is wet and the light is reflecting off the street. Shiny. Clear. Beautiful. 

_ Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle _

_ I can’t let you go now that I got it _

For a second, Dean felt like he got struck by pure electricity, through the eyes of this kid he had just met. The connection he was feeling was impossible to deny, but boy was he trying. He sighed at seeing Cas smiling at him.  _ I wonder if he feels it too?  _ Dean thought, allowing himself a second to indulge in the thought. 

He smiled back.

_ And all I need is to be struck _

_ By your electric love _

_ Baby, you’re electric love _

_ Baby you’re electric, electric _

The song was over but the tingling feeling of some kind of connection stayed with him for a long time.

  
  


The young men, after stepping out of the booth, went back downstairs. Dean felt lightheaded and happy, besides feeling a bit embarrassed. Had he smiled too much? Did his eyes glow just like in those sappy movies his mom loved to watch and he denied not to like? He did not want to know the answer to that.

Dean gulped. 

When they got back to the register, the same blond man from the pictures, Gabriel Milton, had taken Charlie’s place behind the counter. Dean eyed the guy, he was counting the money.

“Hey, Cassie. Red there told me you were showing the place to someone. Didn’t know we were a museum now.” Despite the complaint, the tone was playful.

Castiel just rolled his eyes but nodded. “This is Dean. He just moved here and I thought he should know the store since he likes music.” Cas said, giving him a nudge.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “love music, and hey, cool place. Your uncle must be real proud.”

At that, Gabriel looked up. He eyed Dean with a quirk in his mouth.

He offered his hand. “Gabe Milton.”

“Dean Winchester.” The two shook hands, doing the typical who can squeeze harder routine. Turned out, not Dean. 

“Age?” Gabe started drilling Dean with rapid fire questions.

“I’ll be eighteen in January.”

“GPA?”

“Uh, 3.0.”

“What do your parents do?”

“My dad just got a job at Singer’s Auto Shop and my mom’s a teacher.”

Gabe stepped out from behind the counter, standing in front of Dean. He was shorter than Dean and yet he still looked way more intimidating.

“One last question, what’s your plan for your future?”

Dean stared at him, dumbfounded. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Yet.”

His new friend’s  — were they friends? — brother smiled at his answer. He turned slightly, taking a piece of paper from the table and giving it to him.

“Fill this up and make your parents sign. You start tomorrow.” Gabe said, reaching behind the counter to grab a piece of paper.

The little man smiled again, this time with a lollipop coming out of his mouth, making one of his cheeks look like the one from a chipmunk. 

Cas, who had been quiet for that whole interrogation, stared at his brother. “Gabe, what are you doing?”

“What do you think, bro? I’m losing two employees by the end of the summer. I need new meat.” Gabriel turned, going to the back room, Dean assumed.

Cas sighed, rubbing his temples in annoyance. “Sorry about that. My brother kinda does whatever he wants no matter the consequences. I keep telling him to think things through, but he always tells me that ‘nothing bad has happened from my impulsivity yet Cassie’.” 

“It’s fine.” Dean replied, the shock of what just transpired still dulling his brain for the time being.

“Are you gonna say yes?” The two boys turned and Charlie, Meg and Garth were behind them, obviously having eavesdropped. 

“What?” Dean asked, his brain still not quite all there.

Meg crossed her arms. “Are you taking the job, yes or no, pretty boy?”

He looked at the three teens in front of them. Each one weirder than the next; a blonde with an inclination to dark tight clothes, a lesbian geek according to her harry potter shirt who smiled a lot and a skinny guy who liked weird music. His eyes went to his guide, a hot dude that wore shorts. Dean smiled, he couldn’t really judge.

“Why not, I’ve been told I need to learn how to make friends.” Dean said, a smile creeping up on his face.  _ Maybe this is where I learn…  _

Although Castiel didn’t smile, the energy coming off him was infectious.

“Well,” Meg said, “Dean, right?” He nodded. “You seem like a misfit alright. You’ll fit in just fine.


	2. summer ’17 – thoughts of a fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Castiel's birthday and Dean has to think of a present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Song for the chapter: Fool in the Rain by Led Zeppelin

Garrison Records was quickly becoming a haven for Dean. Not only did he get a decent salary for a not-so-hard job, he also spent every minute of every day with his new friends. 

Charlie was weird, but she was his kind of weird. The more time Dean spent with her, the more he thought they were platonic soulmates. They had similar interests and dislikes, they loved the same kind of movies, tv shows, videogames and books. Unsurprisingly, they also liked the same kind of women. Although he had no intention of ever finding out, it turns out he and Charlie watched the same porn. Yeah, most awkward conversation ever.

The girl was reading a fanfiction on her tablet while she worked. There were only a few customers today, being Monday, so she could afford being a little distracted. By her glowing face and red cheeks, it was either a steamy scene or a cute romantic love confession. Dean laughed at the sight.

He was on the second floor, keeping the instruments tuned and clean. Only Garth didn’t mind doing this job but the guy had caught a cold so Dean had gladly taken the job from him. He didn’t mind. He actually liked cleaning and keeping things neat.

Boy, had Dean been wrong about Garth. Yeah, okay, he was weird. He listened to more foreign music than english music but Dean had to agree the dude knew his thing. He even listened to K-POP and, if asked, Dean would deny it but. he listened to a few songs from a group –an actual band, not a backstreet boys kind of thing– and he liked it, even if he couldn’t understand half the song. 

Castiel though, Dean sighed, he was quickly becoming the best friend he dreamt of having. Someone different than him and yet funny and thoughtful and strange. Cas had a vast knowledge of music but anything else related to pop culture, he was doomed. 

“My uncle let me and Gabe spent a lot of time on the store when we were kids,” Cas had said to him one day while doing inventory, “so instead of going to the movies or staying at home, I was here, learning the difference between punk and indie, classical and instrumental, and how to take care of a business.”

Since Dean learnt this particular piece of information, he had decided to take the responsibility and teach Castiel the best films in history and of course that included mostly sci-fi and fantasy. So far, they have watched the Back to the Future Trilogy, the Godfather, Harry Potter (it still hurt that Cas had never watched them) and The Lord of the Rings. Next weekend they had free, Dean was going to show him tons of Pixar movies.

It irked him that Cas hasn’t grown up watching Disney but oh well.  _ More time to spend with him _ Dean thought.

At that, he shook his head and finished tuning an electric guitar. It was the last one, thankfully. He stared at the clock near the door that leads to the roof; his shift was about to be over.

He got up from the seat and stretched, groaning. He had been sitting on that stool for hours and now his butt hurt. He put the instruments down and went downstairs to clock out. 

Cas was on cashier duty today. He hated it because he wasn’t good with talking to other people. Cas could be incredibly awkward when it came to people other than his friends and family. 

“Dude, you talked to me first. How can you be bad at that?” Dean had asked him one afternoon.

“That was different, Dean.” Cas had deadpanned, not even looking at Dean.

He’d scrunched his eyes. “How?”

His friend had just shrugged. “It just was.”

Dean smiled at the memory and went to the back store. On the couch there was Meg reading a magazine, probably still on her break. They weren’t exactly friends. They were  _ friendly _ towards each other, because of Cas.

Meg Masters had been Castiel’s best friend since kindergarten but now she’d been feeling left out lately. And with good reason, Dean knew. It was true that he and Meg didn’t really see eye to eye (the girl hated his music choices and she still didn’t let him add his favorite songs into the store’s official playlist because he hadn’t passed her test yet, whatever that was) but he had just arrived and he didn’t want to step on anyone else’s shoes.

“Hey Meg.” Dean greeted, waving politely at her.

“Winchester,” she replied, not looking up from her magazine.

And that’s how most of their interactions went these last few days. Dean didn’t care.

He clocked out, jumping when Meg appeared next to him.

“You scare easy,” she said with her signature smirk.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be there, of course I got spooked!” Dean exclaimed.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Castiel’s birthday is next Saturday and we need to distract him. And since you’re new here…”

“Wait, really? Cas’ birthday is coming up? Why didn’t he say anything?” Shock and hurt laced Dean’s voice.  _ Why didn’t he tell me? We are friends. Friends tell each other things, right?  _ Dean thought, disappointment coursing through him.

She clicked her tongue. “He doesn’t like making a big fuss about it but he should know better. But yeah, we’re making him a surprise party for him here and we need to keep him busy. Saturday’s his day off as well but he’s planning to come here anyway.”

“How do you know?” He asked.

“I’ve known him his entire life, unlike others. I know how he thinks.”  Meg replied, smirk back on her face. 

Yes, Meg was definitely jealous of him.

“What do you want me to do?” Dean asked; knowing Meg, it wouldn’t be easy. 

She smiled at that. “I knew I could count on you, freckles. So, the summer festival at Bay Beach starts this weekend and we’ve all been before but you haven’t. So, you could invite Cas to go with you since only the two of you are off that day.”

Dean hummed. “Solid plan.” Beach Bay was thirty minutes away from Graceport and although it wasn’t as popular as their town for the summer, for some reason it got better entertainment than theirs.

“Of course it is. I came up with it.” Meg lifted an eyebrow at that but he noticed a small smile out of the corner of her lips. 

Meg was beautiful, Dean noticed. Her face was round, pouty lips and a small nose. He was sure the blond of her hair came straight from a bottle but the color suited her. Although he couldn’t understand her at times, they had similar personalities and senses of humor. She, just like him, was very loyal to her people. So Dean could do nothing but respect her. The girl was a tough cookie.

“Alright. I’ll help. Just text me the rest of the details later.” Dean confirmed.

“I’ll add you to our group chat.” Meg bumped his shoulder and went back to the couch and her magazine.

Dean scoffed, grabbed his bag and skateboard from the locker and went for the door. When a thought occurred to him, he turned again.

“Hey Meg, how old is Cas turning?”

“Nineteen.”

Dean was surprised. “What? Isn’t he in high school?”

The girl lifted her eyes from the magazine and gave him a weird look. “Dude, you’ve been glued to the hips and  _ more _ for the past month and you didn’t know he graduated high school?” She laughed, the magazine forgotten. “We got our diplomas not long before you showed up into town. We got our acceptance letters after.”

“Oh. Where are you going?” Dean questioned, more out of politeness than anything else.

“Washington.” She got back to her reading.

“And Cas? Do you know where he’s going?” Dean asked, slightly afraid of the answer. 

A Cheshire smile crossed her features. “Yep.”

“And?” 

“I’m not telling you, freckles. Where’s the fun in that?” Meg quipped, knowing it was going to drive him nuts.

Dean rolled his eyes at that and left the room. He could still hear her laugh.

The song playing right now wasn’t really helping him either,  _ Maybe This Time _ by Liza Minelli for the musical Cabaret. The verse ‘ _ maybe this time he’ll stay _ ’ irked Dean. He made his hand into a fist and clenched.

He walked through the store, not thinking of colleges, stupid blondes that hated his guts and not-spot-on songs. 

“Dean, are you…” Cas tried to talk to Dean as he walked through on his way out the door.

“Am fine, Cas. See you tomorrow.” He said without looking.

He stepped out of the store and rode his board. He had bought it with his first pay. It wasn’t new nor anything special, but it had some cool stickers glued on the deck and the wheels weren’t worn down yet. It did his job taking him places and that was fine for him.

He skateboarded his way home and tried not to think of the new information he just received. Cas was leaving at the end of the summer.

Dean groaned again. 

How come he didn’t realize his new friend had already graduated from high school? He had gone to his house, for fuck’s sake! He should’ve known, his mom Anna had even shown him all the pictures of their sons hanging in the living room and hallway. But Dean had been so distracted by baby Cas that sometimes he found himself not listening to his friend’s mother. Oh, now he regretted it deeply.

He was sulking so much he didn’t notice he had already arrived home. Dean left the board on the porch and was now standing at the kitchen door. His own mother was there and seemed to be speaking to him.

“Sweetie, are you listening?” Mary Winchester asked.

“What?” Dean said, his mind a million miles away.

“I asked you if you had a good day at work today.” She frowned at him.

He nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Slow day but it’s always fun being there.”

Dean knew she didn’t buy his answer but she let it slide. She gave him a warm smile.

“How’s Cas? Do you think he’d like to come to dinner again?” Mary asked, keeping her voice light. Dean tried to relax, for his mother sake; she’d probably noticed something was off with him and was trying to cheer him up.

The moment Dean met Castiel, he hadn’t shut up about him. He talked about him over dinner that first day they met. Sam had rolled his eyes an infinite number of times that night and his mom had had a big smile on her face. His dad had just hear him rambling on about his new friend.

After that, they invited Cas for dinner. He had convinced his parents to let Dean work at the Garrison. It had, of course, been too easy for them to like Castiel. He was charming, if not a bit awkward.

“Sure, mom, but it’ll have to be after this weekend.” Dean replied, trying to keep his voice as normal as possible. 

“Why?”

“Cas’ birthday is this Saturday. I’m taking him out.” He said while going to the fridge for a soda. An idea popped into his head while searching for a cherry cola. “Hey mom, do you think dad would let me…?”

“Yes, dear?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. I’ll ask him at dinner.” He smiled at her and went in for a hug.

Dean loved hugging his mom.

At dinner, with the four Winchesters seating all together, it was never quiet.

Sam was always talking; he had never been shy. Even if his summer schedule was filled with PS4 time and zero actual human being interaction, he always had something to talk about. “ _ And although his second channel, which are only videogame videos and stuff, is really funny, I really miss the ridiculous videos he did on HolaSoyGerman.” _

Although Dean had to give his little brother some credit, half the time of his summer had been spent playing video games, the other half was passed while reading books or some weird-ass article the kid had found online.

His mother was always listening to what any of her children said, no matter how ridiculous or unimportant it might seem. She was always good at listening. But Mary had a BA in science with early childhood development emphasis and worked as a kindergarten teacher; she  _ had _ to be patient. 

John Winchester was different. He was always quiet, but he smiled a lot. He smiled lovingly to his wife, who he still seemed to love twenty years later, he smiled warmly at his younger son who always appeared happy and without worries, and he smiled, a bit hesitant at times, to Dean, the son he still couldn’t figure out.

It was that smile over dinner that gave Dean the courage to ask his dad for something he hasn’t really asked before, even if he could’ve done it for over a year now. “Hey, dad.”

He groaned in response.

“I was wondering if you would lend me Baby on Saturday.” Dean asked, his voice hopeful but wary. 

Everyone stopped eating at that.

John put his fork and knife down, looked up at his son and stared at him. “You’re asking me to drive Baby?”

“Uhh, yes?” Dean replied quickly, his former confidence deserting him.

“What for?” John asked, all attention and eyes, were on the pair.

“It’s Cas’ birthday and I wanted to take him somewhere.” Dean said, his voice getting quieter as he waited for his dad to answer.

Now, why was it weird for Dean to ask to use the family car when he was seventeen and had a driver’s license? Easy. His parents had put a rule when he got his license, that he had a limited number of times that he could use Baby in a year. Four times a year, one for each season if he played his cards right. And everyone at that table knew how special each drive was for Dean. He had barely asked for a chance to drive her.

So, for him to use one of those drives because of someone else? Yeah, he knew how it sounded.

Dean kept explaining, in hopes that it would convince his father. “His brother is planning him a surprise party at the shop and they want me to stall until then. I thought he and I could go to the festival in the next town over and have fun.” 

He didn’t dare to look their parents in the eyes. 

“Okay.” John said.

Dean looked up. “Really?”

“Yeah, really?” Sam sniggered.

“Yes, really.” John reassured. “This seems like a big deal for you. Of course you can have it.”

_ Huh, that had been too easy _ , Dean thought.

“Thanks dad.” Dean breathed out, not truly believing his luck.

A fair silence surrounded the table for a few minutes until…

“So, you’re gonna make out with Cas in the car or what?” Sam asked, almost completely seriously. The only hint of a joke was the small smirk on his face and the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Sammy!” Three voices chorused and a bit of food when flying at the youngest from his brother, who was by all accounts, blushing. 

Dean was lying in his bed, thinking. 

He had the car, he had the location, he even had the schedule for the birthday heist as Charlie was now calling since he was added to the group chat. He was only missing one thing.

“I need a present.” Dean threw his arms over his head in frustration. He had no idea what to get the person who made him feel welcome and wanted after they moved in.

Shit.

Dean was bad at giving gifts, just as he sucked at receiving them.

And worst, this was the first time he was giving someone he cared about, that wasn’t family, something to prove he cared. That’s what presents were for, to show the person that you cared (or that you didn’t).

And Dean definitely cared about Cas. Hell, he cared too much.

He had his eyes closed when he felt a shift on his bed.

“What do you want?” He asked. It was probably Sam, he guessed.

“Have you done your move yet?” His brother asked.

Dean opened one eye to stare at him. “What move?”

“You know, the move when you like someone. You always do the same thing when you liked a girl. Although Cas isn’t a girl so I’m not sure if the same rules apply.”

Dean sat on the bed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Cas is just a friend.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Right. And Firefly isn’t the best tv show of all time.”

“Of course it is!” Dean fought.

“You just proved my point.” Sam grinned, knowing he had gotten the best of his brother.

He hissed. “Get out of my room Sammy.”

“I will if you stop calling me that! I’ve told you a million times is Sam now. Not Sammy!” the younger of the two whined.

“Fine! Just go!” He groaned, just wanting his little brother to leave him in peace with his swirling thoughts.

Sam got up from the bed and went for the door. Before he left though, Dean had to ask, “what move were you talking about?”

His brother turned to look at him. “You seriously don’t know? You always do the same thing when you like a person!” At Dean’s oblivious eyes, Sam groaned. “I knew I was related to an idiot. You gloat about your music Dean! You tell girls everything you know about Led Zeppelin and then you sent them a link to one of their songs on Spotify! You’ve been doing this since you were fourteen.” a brilliant idea started to form. He knew what he had to do for his best friend’s gift. Now, he just needed to do it. 

The week rolled around very quickly. The plans for the party were coming along smoothly and Cas seemed to suspect nothing. Dean had asked him on Wednesday about going to the festival and he had agreed. Now, the only thing Dean was missing to make Cas’ birthday into a great one was his gift. He already had the idea and he was working on it but it had to be perfect!

Without noticing, Saturday arrived and the gift was finally done; Dean had stayed up really late at night trying not to mess it up. With his bad luck, he had to repeat the process until he got the hang of it. The amount of materials he wasted on his first trials was insane but the final product had been worth all the trouble and the learning. 

Feeling proud of himself, he put a little bow on it with tape and hid it on a high shelf in his room. Sammy had been curious about what he had been doing these past few days and he couldn’t afford for something going wrong.

The present well-hidden, Dean went in for a quick shower. He needed to smell good, look good and feel good. Why, his subconscious asked. It was Castiel’s birthday, of course. That was as good of a reason as any.

So, that’s how the quick shower turned into a forty minute one and it showed. Dean was drenched, little droplets of water falling from the tips of his hair. He smiled at his reflection, pleased with what he saw and went back to his room to get ready to pick up Cas.

He smiled at his mom when he got downstairs, he ruffled Sam’s hair –the kid had decided to let it grow because he could– and he shook his dad’s hand before taking the keys to the Impala. Now outside, he checked his wallet. Money, license and a lot of business cards he liked to take from places, Dean was ready to go. Of course the most important thing, Cas’ gift, was already in Baby’s backseat. He took the driver’s seat, placed the key without turning it yet and rested his hands in the 2 and 10 position on the steering wheel. He breathed in slowly, trying to calm down as nerves coursed through him for a variety of reasons.

Cas could already know about the party, all because he and Charlie and Garth weren’t the best liars or the most observant people on Earth. Meg had gotten mad on more than one occasion as they had been discussing plans at the store and failed to notice Cas’ arriving until it was almost too late. Since then, all talk of the party had been banned from the store and they were only allowed to talk about it on the group chat. But mostly, what made Dean shiver in nerves, it was Cas not liking the gift that he had put his heart and soul into making.

Also, his father could kill him if anything bad happened to Baby.

It wasn’t the first time he drove the Impala. Hell, every time he had, it had been an experience. And this was one bound to be a good one. But Dean was freaking out. He clenched his fingers and breathed again.

He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly one more time, the exercise doing nothing for his frayed nerves. But Dean could do nothing about it now. He had to go. 

He turned the key to start the engine, the loud sound coming from Baby’s hood helped him to feel steady. It was fine. Everything was fine. Dean was just going to spend the late afternoon night with Cas, his friend. His best friend. Dean’s first best friend. Dean’s  _ only _ best friend.

Damn it.

He stretched his back, making loud popping from his bones but it felt good. He put the car in reverse and went out to the road.

Castiel’s place was technically in the suburbs. It wasn’t too far away from Main Street. Cas’ house was a single story. His mother had had a knee surgery when she was younger so she preferred not to deal with staircases on a daily basis. Anna Milton was a lovely woman, strong and independent. A single mom from a young age, she had made a perfect beautiful son. She also had Gabe. 

Dean snickered at that.

Cas had told him about Gabe’s dad. He had bailed on his mom when he found out about the pregnancy but she had pulled through. Years later, she met Cas’ dad, married him and had Cas. Unfortunately, destiny sucked and his dad passed away suddenly. Castiel never had the opportunity to meet his dad. 

“Your mom is pretty cool.” Dean had told him

“Don’t tell her that. She will remind us forever if you do.” His friend had smiled at him and Dean’s heart had felt a little squeeze.

Dean parked in front of the house and waited a few seconds to compose himself. He needed to have a clear head for tonight. He couldn’t mess it up. He inhaled and exhaled a few times, stretching his back and neck and went out to knock the door.

A few seconds later Castiel answered the door, his electric eyes glowing. Dean gulped. 

“Hey Cas. Ready to go?” He was in deep trouble.

Bay Beach was known for its good waves and not much else. Graceport had better restaurants, stores, activities every summer and it was definitely cleaner. But Bay Beach had the space for games that Graceport didn’t. So, the summer festival was held in the other part of town. At least, that’s what Charlie had explained to him when he asked why they had to go to the other beach when theirs was way better. Ridiculous notion, but Dean had to agree, they didn’t have a pier like this to hold that many activities and rides.

A Noria Ferris Wheel was one of the attractions and Dean did not want to go in, the bumper cars looking more and more appealing every minute. But it was Cas’ day and if his friend asked (and he was hoping he wouldn’t ask), he would go and enjoy the ride.

Instead, Castiel wanted to play at the game stands. 

“You like losing your money, huh, Cas?” Dean asked.

Cas just glared at him but said nothing.

An hour later and Dean had to repeat himself. His friend liked to lose his money. Turned out that Castiel sucked at throwing stuff, either tennis balls, water from a plastic gun or mini hoops, the dude was hopeless!

Dean just kept seeing him lose stand after stand. The games weren’t that expensive but his friend lost over twenty bucks for, apparently, failing P.E. Well, not on his watch.

At their latest stand, the hooping throwing, Dean touched Cas’ shoulder, silently telling him to step aside. He stared at the guy controlling the game and put the money on the table. The guy had a huge grin on his face, counting his friend’s money in the open. That only made Dean angrier.

“So,” he started, “I just throw the three hoops and if they land on the bottles, I get any plushy of my choosing.”

“That’s right.” The guy didn’t even look up, still counting the money.

“Well, how about this.” Dean the remaining hoops from the table. “If I throw all of this and I don’t miss, you give my friend all his money back.”

The dude stopped counting and looked up at him. “And if you lose?”

“I’ll give you all the money on my wallet.” Dean challenged. 

“Dean.” Cas said behind him, shock and reprimand evident in his voice.

“How much is that?” The guy behind the counter questioned, his interest piqued. 

“Two hundred.” Dean said as casually as possible. He really couldn’t afford to lose that money, but he was Dean Freaking Winchester. He got this. 

“Dean!” Cas admonished, looking at his best friend as though he had grown a pair of wings and was planning on flying away. 

He turned to look at his friend. He smiled at him, putting his hand on Cas’s arm, trying to reassure him. “It’s fine Cas. It’s all fine.” He turned back to the guy. “Deal?”

“Deal.” The guy said, a smirk clear on his face. He thought he was being the hustler, when in reality he was getting hustled. 

It had to be said. Dean was very good at throwing. Although he never played with his former classmates because he sucked at socializing, he loved throwing three-pointers at his old school’s basketball court. And before that, he had enjoyed going to arcades with Sammy, usually to play skee ball. Dean had this in the bag. 

Thirty hoops later, Dean looked smug. The guy running the game however, looked both pissed off that he had been hustled and slightly impressed that someone was able to do what Dean just did. He retrieved Cas’ money and also asked for the bee plushy. He’d seen Cas staring at it before.

After counting the money, making sure it was all there, Dean didn't do all that work for nothing, he gave it back to his friend. He also squeezed the bee before giving it to Cas.

“Dean. That was amazing. You didn’t miss! How’s that even possible?” Castiel was excited, his eyes were shining and he had the biggest smile on his face and that made Dean smile as well. It also gave him a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, but Dean ignored that for now. 

The sun was setting when Dean decided to give Cas his present. They had decided to rest for a bit after spending hours standing playing games, finding a nice-looking bench with the sights set at the shore. Dean loved it here. He breathed in the salty air, giving him enough courage.

“Here.” He said without looking at Cas. He handed him a tape. “Happy birthday.”

Cas took it. Dean looked, his friend was holding the small rectangle delicately, his fingers barely touching it. Cas’ eyes were focused on it and, although Dean couldn’t see his face fully, he noticed a small smile creeping on his face growing bigger and bigger as Cas realized what he was holding.

Finally, Castiel looked up and he gave Dean the biggest smile he had ever seen on him.

“A mixtape?” Cas questioned, suddenly looking shy, which confused Dean. 

“Yeah, you know, you love music and yet you still know almost nothing about great rock so I thought to introduce you to one of my favorite bands was a good idea, wasn’t it?” Nerves once again fluttering around in Dean’s chest and stomach. 

Cas’ eyes glowed with happiness. “I love it Dean. Thank you.”

The young man smiled at him again, making Dean’s cheeks slightly redder than before. He gave Cas a small clap on his shoulder and stared at the sunset some more. 

♫♫♫♫♫

“Hey, are you hungry? Do you want some pretzels?” Castiel just nodded and watched Dean go to find some.

As always, his freckled friend was wearing a t-shirt, a faint red, “not pink, Cas”, and some form-fitting jeans that hugged Dean’s butt just a little too well. Castiel forced himself not to look anymore and stared at his present some more.

Cas had never received a gift with this much thought put into it before. Sure, Meg and his mom and brother had given him great gifts but nothing like what Dean,  _ his Dean _ , had just given him. Cas could feel the emotion and work that his friend had put into this, which made it that much more special. Castiel knew that this gift would be with him for a long time.

It was a very normal tape though, Castiel had seen tons at the shop before. But this had a white line that said  _ Dean’s Top 13 Zepp’s Traxx _ . The case the tape was on was also painted. It was decorated with sigils and symbols that, although Castiel had small knowledge of, Dean knew by heart. He and his brother had a habit of researching really dark stuff but for Dean, it was a passion to know more about everything. 

His friend hated to admit it, but he was curious about the world.

And Castiel liked that a lot. More than he should for Dean being his best friend after all. 

♫♫♫♫♫

The Garrison was filled with balloons. Big, round, of-every-color-imaginable balloons. They occupied the entirety of the front store, making it almost impossible for them to cross. While they tried to pass the store to go into the back room, Dean felt a bit claustrophobic. 

He knew they were going to do something ridiculous but he wasn’t expecting this! 

“Cas, your family is crazy.” Dean exclaimed, hitting several balloons out of his way.

“I know. Our family  _ is _ crazy.” Cas shot back, not thinking about what he just said. 

Dean tried not to blush but he failed miserably. They kept walking through the balloons, kicking them and laughing at the situation. They even have a small fight with the balloons, throwing them at the other. When they got to the doors for the backroom, Dean opened them, stepping inside with Cas. Glitter falls and covers them.

Someone blew on a party horn and then they heard their friends screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAS.”

The party ended up being great. There were birthday cupcakes because Castiel didn’t like cake but he loved cupcakes. He thought they were the same thing but he preferred pie so he couldn’t judge. Gabriel had stocked the place so many sweet delicacies because he and his brother shared a sweet tooth like no other. 

All of Cas’ favorite songs, for the moment, were playing and they danced for hours. 

When the clock hit midnight, Dean took Cas home. The rest of the guests were supposed to stay and help clean, some kind of tradition every time they celebrated a birthday in the store. The birthday person leaves and the rest stay and clean. It seemed like a good compromise.

Castiel took his presents and put them in the back seat. 

They had had a great day and his friend looked really happy, his smile betraying him.

“Can we listen to the mixtape while you get me home?” Cas asked.

He nodded. He let Cas put the tape into the radio and they listened. Dean decided to take the long way to his friend’s house. The first five songs came and went, Dean barely listening. He knew all the songs by heart and normally he loved to listen to them, but not at the moment. He drove slow, so he could focus on the road and on Cas’ face at the same time. 

He wanted to dissect every gesture, every change in demeanor Cas had when he listened to the songs.

The sixth song of the mixtape started playing, making Dean smile. Not your typical Led Zeppelin song, that was for sure, but it had always been one of his favorites. It reminded Dean of his parents. (Which should have been his first clue, but Dean was a bit oblivious.)

_ Oh baby _

_ Well there’s a light in your eyes that keeps shining _

_ Like a star that can’t wait for the night _

_ I hate to think I been blinded baby _

_ Why can’t I see you tonight? _

John would drive through the open road, singing while staring at Mary with heart eyes and a big smile. Astonishingly similar to how Dean and Cas were now. 

_ And the warmth of your smile starts a burning _

_ And the thrill of your touch give me fright _

_ And I’m shaking so much, really yearning _

_ Why don’t you show up and make it alright, yeah? _

Dean kept driving, his face turning slowly to stare at Cas. His friend’s eyes were closed, a small smile creeping on his face.

_ It’s alright right _

Castiel opened his eyes, looked at his direction and the small smile turned into a bigger one, teeth showing and everything.

“It’s a beautiful song, Dean.”

He blinked, trying to pay attention to the road and his best friend alike without making a fool of himself. They were entering Cas’ neighborhood, his house was really close now. Too close for Dean’s liking. He parked in front of the house, not turning off the engine.

Cas’ eyes were still really blue and the small light of the moon reflecting in them only made them even more beautiful. Dean gulped and smiled.

_ And I’ll run in the rain till I’m breathless _

_ When I’m breathless I’ll run till I drop, hey! _

_ And the thoughts of a fool’s kind of careless _

_ I’m just a fool waiting on the wrong block, oh yeah _

“Thank you.” Cas spoke again.

“The mixtape isn’t over, man.” Dean said, hoping they would stay in the car and finish listening to it.

“Still. I loved it. Thank you.” Cas said, looking over at Dean with soft eyes. 

Dean scratched the nape of his neck. “Well, I thought since you’re going away, you would, you know…”

“Going away?” Cas frowned.

“Yeah, away to college.” He nodded

Cas looked at him, searching something in his face he didn't understand.

“Oh you’re serious.” His best friend laughed. He, swear to God, pulled his head back and laughed his ass off. “Dean, I’m going to California State. That’s a two-hour away drive, with bad traffic.”

Something in Dean that he didn’t know it was even broken gets back together really quick. “What?”

“You actually believe I was going to leave Gabe alone with the shop? Are you crazy?!” Castiel laughed some more. “Oh, we really don’t know each other enough.”

Dean huffed at that and gave an unexpected sigh.  _ Yeah, I guess I want to know you more _ , he thought.

“Wait, so you make me a mixtape so I could remember you?” Dean’s face reddened, trying to hide himself in the wheel. Cas’ eyes squinted, his voice turning softer than before. “Dean, that’s…I could never forget you. You have become, I mean, you. You are my best friend.”

He lifted his face from the wheel. “I am?”

Castiel just nodded. He smiled. 

“You are my best friend too, man, the first one in a very long time.” Dean responded.

“I’m glad then.” Cas said, the smile never falling from his face.

Dean felt tension building up. Cas leaned in and he held his breath. Then, Cas reached to the backseat to pick up his presents from the party. Dean let the air out, feeling stupid.

With his few boxes and bags on his lap, Cas smiled again. “Thank you for the day, Dean.”

Castiel’s arms surrounded Dean’s shoulders, only leaving him the chance for his hands to squeeze the middle of his back. He placed his head on Cas’ shoulder and melted at the touch.


	3. summer '17 - sailing blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go to the beach!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Song for the Chapter: The Life of Riley by The Lightning Seeds

The summer was coming to an end and Dean was freaking out. School was beginning soon and for the first time, he was going to stay at the same place for a whole year. He would go to the same school for an entire year and it was his most important one.

Well, Dean rolled his eyes at the thought. 

He had never believed school was the best time of their lives as Hollywood made it seem. For once, he knew that was first category bullshit. But senior year was kind of important as it was the last one. And Dean wasn’t even sure he was going to go to college so this could very well be his last school year ever.

He had to make it the best. And yet.

He was scared. Castiel wasn’t going to be with him. Okay, sure, he was coming home every day because his college was just an hour-ish away. But still, he wasn’t going to have his best friend (first one!) by his side. He would have Charlie though, and Garth. At least he would have those two weirdos alongside him and maybe, just maybe, Dean wouldn’t feel  _ that _ left-out. 

It was funny really, Sam had become a social butterfly for all the times they had moved, even if he was a complete nerd.

But Dean, overtime he learnt that people were too much for him to care for and decided to just step aside. He almost never made friends anytime they changed schools and the ones he did, were made for pure necessity. 

He had friends now, Dean reminded himself.

He made them all by himself, without his parents and without his brother. Sure, he didn’t speak to them first, but he kept talking to them and that was a success all by itself. 

Dean thought of all of this while in bed, listening to music on his phone and texting to Cas.

Because summer was ending, the Misfits from the Garrison were all taking a day off – Gabe only let them because he also wanted a day off, typical Gabe – and they were all going to the beach. Dean laughed at the irony considering they live near the ocean, and could quite literally go to the beach whenever they wanted, but Castiel and Gabe’s uncle had a shack at, according to the brothers, a _secret paradise_. The only problem was that the place was an hour and a half drive down south and Dean had already used his quarter only-use of the Impala so they were going to go in Meg’s 1987 Colt Vista. And it was golden.

Ugliest thing Dean’s ever seen before but it was the only car big enough for all of them, that wasn’t Baby. Dean shuddered at the thought of his dad seeing him in that car. He would never live it down.

He had to accept it. Now, he was texting Cas about the awful thing.

To: Cas

It’s awful man, the color alone is terrible.

From: Cas

At least it’s not brown.

To: Cas

Oh no, yeah. That would be worse. Way worse than gold.

Ugh, thanks for putting it into my head man.

From: Cas

You’re very welcome  ☺

Dean grinned. Cas loved emoticons. The old kind of emoticons, not the emoji’s, which he found endearing and cute. 

Okay, yeah. Dean liked Castiel. After three months, he had to accept that. Cas was cute, funny in his own way, interesting and just awesome. But he was his friend. His first friend in a very long while and Dean didn’t want to mess it up. Even if his friend was interested in guys, and he wasn’t sure, his gay-dar wasn’t very good, Dean wasn’t sure if he would want to ruin their friendship for a chance at…something else. 

A new message popped up on Dean’s phone interrupting his thoughts. 

From Cas:

Mrs. Tran is worried that we’re going to be a bad influence to Kevin.

Dean snorted, reading the message. Yeah, sure. The Misfits could be a little strange and loud and they didn’t really care about what others thought of them, but was that necessarily a bad thing? Dean didn’t think so. He thought it made them all better people. More accepting. More caring. With so many personalities to deal with in the group, Dean had learned very quickly that just accepting people for who they were was the best way to go. 

To: Cas

Why? Do you guys have a bad rep or something?

From: Cas

Or something.

Dean scoffed at that.

Checking he had enough minutes, he didn’t dwell on it and called Cas.

“What do you mean ‘or something’”? Dean questioned, without bothering to say hello. 

Castiel sighed. “It’s not really us. Except Meg, she’s the troublemaker of all of us. But it’s also Gabe.” He could hear his friend breathing in and out. “He’s not very good at being an adult.”

Dean smiled at that. He could just picture him doing air quotes with his fingers.

“Well, yeah, figures. But if he were really that bad, I bet the store would be dead by now.” Dean reasoned. He didn’t know Gabe as well as he knew Cas, but they were brothers. And while not being the most responsible adult out there, he managed to do pretty well for himself and his family. 

“Yeah, I guess. But some parents just don’t trust him. That’s why we don’t have more employees.” Cas replied, sighing at the thought of people just not taking the time to get to know his brother and just judging him on hearsay and first impressions. Yeah, Gabe was weird, but it was a good weird. 

“So, what, why is she letting us take his son tomorrow?” Dean wondered, both slightly confused and slightly entertained. 

Kevin Tran was the Miltons’ neighbor and Cas had babysat him some when they were younger. The kid was also the same age as Sammy and because they were taking his little brother, he thought it’d be good to have someone close to Sam’s age to keep him company; that and Sam was just as nerdy and strange as the Tran kid, according to Gabe anyway. 

Dean hadn’t really been a good brother lately, being at the store all summer. And although Sam didn’t really need him anymore (his words, not Dean’s), Dean knew his brother missed him. And Dean would never admit it, but he missed his little brother too. 

So, he thought he could kill two birds with one stone by taking his brother with him on a trip and also introducing him to one of his new classmates. It was a win-win situation. At least, that’s what Cas had said when he had thought of the plan.

“She agrees that Kevin has spent too much time alone this summer. So, she’s taking a leap of faith.” Cas said.

Dean hummed. “That’s surprising.”

“Yes, it is.” Cas laughed. “I think the real Mrs. Tran has been abducted by fairies and we have a shapeshifter replacing her.”

Castiel sometimes said weird things like that about magical creatures and Dean had learnt to not really ask about them after a while but sometimes…

“Fairies?” Dean asked, amused and kinda bewildered at his friend’s choice of words. 

“They’re extremely picky to who they choose to take, Dean.” Cas stated, sounding as if this was the most normal thing in the world to be talking about. 

Yeah, he really liked his friend. The idiosyncrasies and quirks of Castiel made him that much more appealing to Dean. Every new thing that he learned just made Dean like him more and more.

They were meant to be picked up at 8 am and that sucked for Dean. Not for Sammy though. The kid had been ready to go since the rise of dawn. He even went for a run. A run! Considering none of their parents shared his brother’s need for a workout, he assumed Sam was adopted. Of course, the idea was ridiculous because his brother had the same personality as their dad, but the idea was planted in his head and it’ll never leave now.

The golden Colt showed up with a very happy Charlie behind the wheel and a very sleepy Meg next to her. In the back seat was Garth, who was smiling like always. “Good morning fellas!” His skinny friend stepped out of the car and gave the brothers a big hug each. 

Right. Garth was a hugger. 

An Asian kid, who Dean assumed was Kevin, sat in the same backseat as Garth and that’s where Sam went to sit. Well, he thought, they hit it off fast. The only place left for Dean was with Cas, in the cargo area that had two foldable seats. The cooler, fortunately for them, was on the car roof, well tied.

With no more delays, Charlie started the car and once again and off they went.

♫♫♫♫♫

Chuck Shurley’s summer shack is actually much bigger than his friends expected. A two-story house with four rooms upstairs, two bathrooms, big kitchen downstairs and a game room, filled with board games and a pool table. Unfortunately, they weren’t staying the night, Mrs. Tran was very adamant for them to come back the same day, so that will be an adventure for another day.

Meg, who woke up twenty minutes before arriving, glanced at him with questioning eyes.

He knew what she wanted to say to him. Why had they never come to this place before?

Castiel did not want to answer that.

He knew his longtime friend already knew the reason though. 

He shook his head, forgetting about that current problem for another time. The beach was at a similar distance of the house like the Winchester’s home. The only difference was that this was a private beach, owned by his uncle. Yeah, he was not telling his friends that.

“Alright, everyone. Let’s unload the cooler and the rest of the stuff so we can begin.” He told them and they obliged. Castiel smiled at his friends, all taking their stuffs while Dean and Garth got the cooler.

Castiel opened the front door. The place was clean of course, either he or Gabe came once a week to clean it up a bit; if they’re busy, they send someone to do the dirty job.

Uncle Chuck barely stayed in Graceport anymore so he decided to give the beach house to his mom. Anna loved coming to the house, smiling at the good memories. Gabe tended to bring his dates here instead of sullying the store at Castiel’s request and warning. 

His friends put their bags in the living room and explored the place. After a bit of that, they changed into their swimsuits and hit the waves.

♫♫♫♫♫

Dean had kitchen duty, considering he was the only one with the ability to cook in their group of friends. He was putting the snacks and other edibles they brought out of the bags when Cas approached him.

“Dean.” He smiled.

“Cas.” Dean smiled back.

“You sure you don’t mind cooking?” His friend had been bugging him since he had been chosen for the tedious task.

“I don’t mind, man. Mom has been teaching how to cook since I was a toddler. Said it would help in the future.” He pointed at the kitchen and pots. “I think she was right.”

Sam, who had just changed to his swim trunks, interrupted them. “Oh look, Dean’s at his rightful place, the kitchen.” He mocked.

Almost immediately, a hand flew and smacked Sammy on the head.

“Ow! Charlie!” Sam exclaimed, rubbing the now sore spot on his head.

“Oh, do not Charlie me, mister! If I ever hear you say anything as close to rude and ignorant again, I will kick your ass. Do you understand?” Charlie snapped at Sam. For being half his size, she made the younger boy cower in fear. 

Sam gulped. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, what?” Charlie questioned, hands on her hips, giving Sam the mom stare. 

“Yes, I understand.” Sam said meekly, dropping his head. 

“Good. Now let’s go to the beach and think about what you said.” Charlie grinned, all smiles now that she had completed scolding Sammy. 

Sam gave him a stern look but didn’t say anything else. Charlie winked at him and he smiled at her. She got his back and he got hers. 

After that little teaching moment for all of them, his friends went to the beach. Luckily for Dean, the house also has an outdoor grill so he doesn’t miss any of the fun. Garth had set up a Bluetooth speaker, connected to the store’s playlist. He still hadn’t earned the right to add his songs, according to Meg.

Sam and Kevin went to play at the beach with a volleyball, Charlie keeping an eye on them while she read a book. Meg was tanning in a chair, the blond had chosen the smallest bikini she could find just for that purpose and that made Dean chuckle. Garth and Cas went swimming, one taking care of the other in case something happened.

While grilling the burgers, Dean stared at the water every couple of minutes, trying to always have Cas in his sight. He wasn’t worried. He just wanted to make sure everyone was safe. He knew his brother and his friends were safe. And Garth was a good swimmer, his mother said so. But Castiel… Dean wasn’t sure. 

He didn’t mind cooking, he really didn’t. But he would prefer to be by his friend’s side and have fun. Squinting his eyes, he could barely make out Cas’ silhouette. It was frustrating.

He sighed. He was overreacting, as usual. The more time he spent with Castiel, the more protective he got. Dean knew it wasn’t a normal reaction, wanting to be with your friend all the time, wanting to make him smile and laugh all the time because you liked the way his face changes when smiling and laughing. And the sounds he made at laughing, it warmed Dean’s insides every time.

Dean smiled with melancholy in his features and went back to grilling. He jumped at the almost burned burgers. “Shit.”

“You okay there, Dean-o?” Meg asked. “You seem distracted.”

The girl was reading a magazine. “I’m fine, dude. Keep reading.”

_ You and Me Song _ by The Wannadies started playing behind them and Meg gave him a knowing look before going back to her reading. 

“Take care of Clarence while I’m away.” She murmured.

“What?” Dean replied, shock coloring his face. 

“I know he seems unbothered by the world but he can be very sensitive too and he needs good friends by his side when everything seems like crumbling down. And you like him,” she stressed that last part, “and understand him even.”

He flips another burger. “Cas is tough.”

“I know that. But everyone needs support, someone to rely on. Except me, of course, I’m a lone wolf.” Meg said quietly, a sadness seeping into her voice. 

Dean scoffs, but gives the girl a tiny grin.

“I’m gonna miss you Meg.” Dean admitted He had grown fond of the blonde in the last three months. He really didn’t want to say goodbye to one of his friends. 

“Likewise, nerd.” Meg replied. And instead of her signature smirk, a genuine smile was on her face. 

Suddenly, Meg stood up and gave him a hug. It was the first time the two had ever hugged and Dean was certain that this was Meg’s way of saying  _ thank you _ when she couldn’t voice it. 

And with surprise written all over Dean’s face, he hugged her back just as tightly; saying  _ I promise I will take care of him _ with his hug. When they pulled apart, Dean swore there was a small tear falling from Meg’s eye. But just as quickly as the moment started it was over and they were back to their normal selves. 

The food was ready shortly so Dean called everyone out. 

He passed each a plate with one burger and different bags of snacks for preference. Meg, now covering herself with a t-shirt, helped him by passing around soda cans. 

Dean sat on the stairs with Cas, so everyone else placed their seats around them to form a circle and talked for a while. Sam and Kevin had apparently a lot in common (both nerds, Dean thought, friendship made in heaven), and Charlie was geeking out with the two 14-year-olds about a video game called  _ Necropolis _ .

Garth and Meg were fighting again over if The Beatles were really that good.

“Greatest lyrics of the world!”

“Oh please! Sure, cute songs and all, but their voices? Not the best I’ve heard.”

“Take that back.”

“Never.”

And in silence, there was him and Cas, letting the rest fill out the silence and enjoying  _ The Kids Aren’t Alright _ by Fall Out Boy.

After eating, something strange happened. As they threw away the paper plates, finished their snacks and sodas and they talked, opening up their hearts to one another.

It started out slowly. 

Sam mentioned how hard every move had been for them. Dean, especially.

“I suck at making friends.” He mentioned.

“His grades aren’t that good either.” Sam said, a small smile on his face.

“Shut it, Sammy.” Dean said, throwing whatever he could reach at his brother. 

For his little brother though, the difficulty had been connecting with their father. “I like studying and rules and videogames. He’s just into cars and can barely use a flip phone, for crying out loud.”

Dean, who never heard about any of this, asked. “How long have you felt like this?”

“Since always.” Sam said with a shrug. 

Charlie talked a bit about her mom.

“She’s been sick for a while now. We live with my aunt and she takes care of her so I don’t have to but it's hard. I just wish I could do something more for both of them.”

Garth’s parents wanted him to be a dentist. 

“They have this dream of me following their footsteps and inherit the practice.” Fitz Tooth was the only odontology practice in their neighborhood, so they had a good clientele. “And I’m not sure how to tell them that I’m just not sure if that’s for me.”

Kevin is tired.

“I’m barely a teenager with pimples and braces and I already feel this pressure on me that I have to be the best. I know, I know mom just wants to be happy and to have a bright future – unlike dad – but I’m burning out.”

Meg just wants to be free.

“My family sucks. My parents don’t give a damn about me and they’re hoping for me to bail on them. They didn’t even believe I’d make it through high school! Didn’t even dare to show at the graduation ceremony.” She chuckled. “That’s why I’m moving to Seattle, I have an uncle there. His name is Crowley, he ain’t so bad.”

And Castiel stood quiet for a while, just listening, not really giving an opinion. Until, “I’m gay.”

Dean was the first one to look at him. 

“I don’t know how to tell mom, she’s a good Christian, I honestly don’t know how she’s gonna take it. I haven’t even told Gabe yet and he’s super open-minded, I  _ know _ he won’t mind but I’m scared to death.”

Nobody said anything at first. It was a delicate subject.

Charlie, of course, was the first one to say something. “We don’t mind, Castiel.”

“You’re gay too, Charles, you don’t count.” Dean said, trying to lighten the sudden tension. “I don’t mind.” In fact, Dean's mind was racing a mile a minute. This is what he had been waiting for! He had never voiced these thoughts out loud though. He silently thanked whatever power is out there for giving Cas the courage to tell them.

Cas, who hadn’t looked at Dean since he started talking, turned his face at him. Their eyes meet and he can tell that Cas is fighting the tears to back down. Like an instinct, Dean slid on the step until he’s at his friend’s side and hugged him. They have hugged before, he knows. But this felt different. Grabbing his shoulders to bring Cas into his arms, squeezing him hard. Soon, everyone else followed.

Cas was crying.

They couldn’t hear him but the small tremble of his shoulders was everything Dean needed to know.

_ Lost in the Milky Way, _

_ Smile at the empty sky and wait for _

_ the moment a million chances may all collide. _

Slowly, each stared at each other in wonder. Who had chosen that song so fitting for that moment? The employees from the Garrison all stared at Garth, knowingly.

_ So here’s your life _

_ We’ll find our way _

_ We’re sailing blind _

_ But it’s certain nothing’s certain _

_ I don’t mind _

_ I got the feeling _

_ You’ll be fine _

_ I still believe _

_ That in this world _

_ We’ve got to find the time _

_ For the Life of Riley. _

Meg got up, took Cas’ hand pulling him in to dance.

“Really Meg?” Dean asked.

“Yes, really. The gods have spoken so let’s dance before I regret it and hit the next button!” Meg said, smiling at her little group of misfits.

Charlie giggled and took Dean’s hand. “C’mon, bitches!”

The remaining three got up and danced as well, not without Sam complaining that it wasn’t fair Charlie could call them that. “Girl and lesbian rights, get over it!” She replied.

_ Although this world is a crazy ride, _

_ You just have to take your seat and hold on tight. _

He spun Charlie around and laughed when she fell in the sand.

_ So here’s your life _

He stopped laughing when Meg threw some sand at him.

_ We’ll find our way _

He immediately went after her, who was hiding behind Cas.

_ We’re sailing blind _

She gets away, but not without shoving Cas at Dean knocking them both to the ground. 

_ But it’s certain nothing’s certain _

They both laughed at the absurd situation but the fun quieted down and they stared at each other some more, blue and green meeting. He had never had a guy’s face so close to his before, Dean thought. And he didn’t dislike it that much. For a small moment, his eyes looked at Cas’ lips and it was in that moment that he realized how many times he had done that exact movement over the summer.

The moment was over when someone, probably Sammy alongside Kevin, threw some more sand at their heads. The two got up fast and went back to the sand fight, with the song coming to an end but the feeling that it left never truly leaving. 


	4. summer '18 - when i'm not around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Problems in paradise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main song for the chapter : Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time by The Darkness

Castiel enjoyed photography.

Graceport was known in California for its vast majority of artistic endeavors, from painters to sculptors. Every year, various art festivals were hosted for the local talent to showcase their pieces. Castiel has participated a few times over the years with his photos, but it had always been more of a hobby than a true calling.

What he liked the most about it though, was to capture happiness. 

And for the past year, he had been capturing most of his friends’ happiness and Castiel was very proud of it. He also enjoyed showing that happiness so, like he did every summer, he printed the pictures he took and he was putting them up the board at the shop. Castiel had noticed over the years that tourists enjoyed knowing the Garrison’s history, that’s why the board was filled with tons of old and new photos, from his uncle’s old days to Mike and Luke’s short time and when he and Gabe took over. 

He switched some pictures every year for new ones with their new adventures and he liked to think of it as a nice touch, making it homier and personal. He also tried to put little legends below each photo so people know what’s going on in the pictures but right now, Castiel didn’t have time for that.

His birthday was tomorrow and his friends from college wanted to celebrate alongside him. His friends from home didn’t want to share him but when Balthazar had had the bright idea to all celebrate together in Los Angeles, everyone had gotten excited.

And luckily for him, Balthazar’s idea for fun wasn’t as bad as usual. There was going to be a concert with a cover band that Castiel liked a lot. They mostly did old rock bands covers and tonight, their setlist was  _ The Darkness _ only and that was very exciting for him.

Their only concern was that the bar was for over 21, so they had to get fake IDs. Not his favorite thing to do but hey! It was one of his favorite bands! He deserved a little fun, especially on his birthday.

Castiel stared at his watch; they were leaving soon.

He had his bag in the back room, in case they stayed the night. Their parents were aware of the possibility so there was no problem with that, at least.

He went downstairs to check that he didn’t forget anything and found Dean on the couch, his feet resting on his bag, reading a book. A smile graced his lips. 

“Hello Dean.” 

Getting closer, Castiel got a better look at the cover. He opened his eyes in surprise.

“Agatha Christie, really?” Cas teased.

“What’s wrong with it?” Dean asked.

“Nothing. I just thought you were more of a King kind of guy.” Cas said, the amusement clear in his voice. 

Dean liked to read a lot, Castiel had noticed. If he wasn’t working at the shop or at home playing video games with Sam, he was at the library or the book shop. He liked to deny it, he still didn’t know why, but Dean was an avid reader and really intelligent. That’s what had gotten him acceptance to three universities, including his first choice KU.

Castiel smiled at that. “Take your feet off my stuff.” Dean did, sitting properly on the couch; Castiel sat beside him, their thighs touching.

“Ready for tonight?” Dean asked.

He shrugged. “I’m excited to go out with you but travelling all the way to L.A-”

“It’s an hour away, it’s not like we’re going to Niagara Falls.” 

“Still. No matter the amount of time, something could go wrong.” He replied, worry evident in his tone. 

Dean snorted. “Knowing us, something is definitely going to go wrong.”

“That’s what frightens me!” He jumped a bit, his face frowning.

Dean’s face, unlike his, was the paragon of serenity, an arm surrounding him and holding him steady. “Don’t worry too much, man. We’re gonna have fun, take some beers-”

“Except you.” He reminded Dean. 

“-except me, cause I’m the freaking designated driver-”

“You’re the one that doesn’t let anyone else drive Baby.” Cas joked, knowing John would kill Dean if anyone but him was behind the wheel. 

“We most likely will be staying in the city so I don’t know why I can’t drink.” 

“It’s just in case something goes wrong!” He scowled.

“Anyways!” Dean chuckled. “We’re gonna listen to some good songs, even if it’s not the original band and we’re gonna have fun. Yes?” He asked.

Castiel was still scowling.

“Caaaaaas.” Dean whined.

“Yes. We’re going to have fun.” 

“That’s the spirit, buddy.” Dean’s arm was still around him and he gave him a tight squeeze. His heart took a leap at the motion and he smiled.

They heard the front door opening, the small bell above it tinkling. Voices began to fill the place and something in them changed. Dean stopped holding him and Castiel himself moved a few inches away from his friend.

The Misfits entered the room and he tried to forget about it.

Charlie wasn’t as excited as she had been a few days ago, Castiel noticed. She had the proper attire for the evening and she had a huge smile on her face but he could tell she was faking it. 

Her face fell every time she believed nobody was paying her any attention.

It gave Castiel an uneasy feeling of how everything was going to go absolutely wrong tonight but there was no way to back down now. Garth was super excited about going out to L.A, who knew he was a fan of the city. And Dean was intent on meeting his new college friends, wanting to make sure his new friends were worthy of him. Dean’s words, not his. 

That also made Castiel squirm with worry.

He wasn’t sure how that meeting was going to go, honestly. 

He could see Alfie and Garth getting along, considering their very outgoing and yet calm behaviors. Hannah and Charlie were very different in personalities but considering the latter’s attitude as of late, maybe they’ll get along fine without talking. And then there was Balthazar and Dean…

Yeah, that was not going to end well.

At 9 o’clock, they hopped in the Impala and Dean made his way to Los Angeles. 

They were still deciding if checking in a motel for the night or not. Everyone had their own opinion and was not shy about being heard. The car was suddenly filled with voices trying to talk over each other. It became impossible to keep what everyone was saying. 

“We don’t know if we’re staying.”

“Oh, please, we’re definitely staying.”

“We don’t know that! So we shouldn’t waste money on a room we’re not sure we’re gonna need.”

Someone groaned.

“Alright! But I still think it’s a waste of money.” Cas conceded in the end.

They chose a small hotel in west Hollywood with not a bad range in prices for a room of four and had a private parking lot for Baby. Castiel wasn’t a big fan of staying the night but if his gut was right and this night was meant to be a disaster, the least they could do was to have a safe place to stay.

On the way over, Garth called in advance to ask if they had a room available and luckily, they did. One thing less to worry about, he thought.

Dean parked the car and they went and put their stuff away in the room.

It was almost eight and they were meant to be at the bar at ten.  _ Cypher _ was a semi-popular dive bar in downtown L.A with cheap drinks, good music and fun nights, according to Castiel’s friends. In his past year studying in the city, he hadn’t really been part of the bar scene. He had always considered Los Angeles as a very dangerous city and just because he went to school there, it didn’t mean he had to become part of it.

Castiel groaned, just realizing. “We haven’t eaten anything.”

“So?” Dean asked.

“So, our stomachs are empty, making us more susceptible to drunkenness faster and becoming vomit projectiles.” Castiel said, that bad feeling in his stomach getting harder and harder to ignore. 

His three friends stopped whatever they were doing to stare at him. “I’m not overreacting!”

Charlie sighed. She was by his side in no time. “Oh, C. You’re adorable when you worry.”

“I am not.” Cas grumbled. 

“Yes you are.” Dean and Garth added.

“That’s why,” Charlie continued, “as you’re basically ready because you’re a guy and guys are such privileged d-bags that no one cares what you wear to a bar, you and Dean should go and look for something quick to eat for us.”

“Why me?” Dean whined, obviously tired from the trip.

Charlie gives Dean a stink eye. “Because you’re going to wear a green henley that’ll make your eyes pop and some torn jeans and voilá, you’ll be ready in no time. So be a good best friend for everyone and go with Cas!” She smiled at them, irritated and turned to keep getting ready.

He looked at his best friend and shrugged. Dean shrugged back, took his wallet and the both of them left to buy some snacks.

  
  


“I think something’s wrong with Charlie.” He told Dean. They were at a 24-hour convenience store.

“Yeah, no shit. She’s been acting weird since before graduation.” Dean was eyeing a bag of chips. “Been trying to talk to her about it but she won’t say a thing. First time since we met. She’s usually very…”

“Chatty?” 

“Open.” 

“Yeah.” Castiel sighed. “It’s not like her to bottle her feelings.”

Dean laughed, taking the chips. “Yeah, that’s more my ground.”

He stopped to give Dean a much meaner look than Charlie did back at the room. 

“You need to stop doing that.” He scolded gently.

“Doing what?” 

“ _ That _ . Diminishing yourself, or your feelings.” 

He grabbed a few sodas, trying to put an end to their food run. Dean still hadn’t replied.

“I’m not good with feelings, Cas.” Dean admitted quietly.

_ Yeah, me neither _ .

  
  


They called a Lyft fifteen minutes till ten. They would arrive fashionably late, according to Charlie and they were all fine with it. She was wearing a leopard print dress.

“It’s a short sleeve mini dress and I look dashing.” She had said.

She looked cute in it.

The bar had enough space for a big crowd; it was already full but there was still room to move without bumping into someone else. They showed their ID’s to the bouncer and they got in.

It was dark inside. Fluorescent lights decorated the edges and different banners, that Castiel could only describe as “hipster”, covered the walls. The bar was on the right side and in the left side, there were a few booths that were already occupied. He had never been here before but he remembered Hannah and Alfie mentioning the place once or twice to hang out in the afternoon. He had always said no, wanting to go home every time.

Charlie led them to the bar and ordered some drinks for each of them, a flash cocktail for Garth, a beer for Castiel, a soda for Dean and a tequila shot for herself.

“Bottoms up, bitches!” Charlie exclaimed, downing the shot like a pro.

She ordered two more shots almost immediately.

“Whoa, whoa, Charles,” Dean said, “aren’t you going a bit fast? The night is only starting.”

She grinned at him. “Dude, this is what we came for. It’s all good!” She gave Dean a punch in the shoulder and downs another one.

Oh and the night was just getting started indeed.

The band was starting to prep when he spotted Hannah, near the restrooms. He waved at her, hoping she saw him. She did and smiled warmly at him. Castiel appreciated her a lot and he was actually very happy to see her. Out of nowhere, Alfie appeared next to her. The two walked towards him and his friends, giving Castiel little time to breath and to remember that everyone can be friends.

He hugged his two friends and introduced them to the Misfits. Charlie, now holding a beer, gave Hannah a big schmooze and a flirty smile. Even with the dark lightning, he could still see Hannah’s blush.

Alfie smiled at the group and introduced himself again. Like he predicted, he started to talk with Garth.

“Where’s Zar, anyway? He’s the one that proposed this whole plan.” He asked.

“Oh, Cassie. I knew you’d miss me.” An arm wrapped his shoulders and squeezed. He turned and looked at his friend. He smiled at him.

A loud guitar filled the room and everyone screamed.  _ Black Shuck _ started and the crowd got wild. 

“Let’s go dance!” Balthazar said to them, grabbing him along, Charlie and Hannah accompanying them.

♫♫♫♫♫

Dean was  _ not _ jealous.

How could he, anyway? Cas was only dancing platonically with his new friend Balthazar, who was blond and British and hot and…crap.

Okay, he was jealous. He did not want to be though! He had tried to convince his brain time and time again that Castiel Milton was only his friend and yet! And yet, the stupid gray matter, or maybe the stupid red muscle behind his sternum, didn’t seem to receive the message.

He asked the bartender for another shot, tequila this time, and swallowed it without salt or lime. He had started drinking the moment he saw Cas dancing with his good friend Zar. C’mon, who names his kid Balthazar? That was just wrong. Oh man, he needed to go numb fast and drinking was the only way he knew how.

After the fifth shot in less than ten minutes, Charlie appeared next to him.

She had a beer between her fingers but by the looks of it, she had barely even had any.

“You okay, red?”

She just shrugged.

Charlie had been acting weird since before the trip had been planned and now, her face had a big scowl. It was weird to see his friend like that, without a smile. Even when she was serious, there was always some playfulness in her features, but today…

A big shadow was covering her face and Dean wasn’t sure what to do to help.

The band was now playing The Darkness most known song  _ I Believe in A Thing Called Love _ , and Dean knew that was one of Charlie’s favorite songs of all time and yet she wasn’t dancing nor lip-syncing. He worried even more.

“Charlie, what’s going on?” 

“Nothing.” Charlie snapped. 

“Dude, c’mon, you’ve been with a stick up your ass all night. Hell, all week.” Dean prodded. He really only wanted to help. 

She slammed the beer on the table, spilling some of it. He startled. “Maybe I did not want to come, Dean, have you thought about that?”

“Then why did you?” Dean said, taken aback. He had never seen this side of Charlie. She was always so happy. The person in front of him was not his Charlie. This was not his friend. 

“Cause it’s Cas’ birthday! But I’ve had a terrible week and I was not in the mood.” Charlie just about yelled. Her eyes started to turn glossy.

“Well, maybe if you had talked to me, or to any of us, we would’ve tried to help! You do remember you have friends, right?” Dean snapped back, his emotions and the alcohol getting the better of him. 

“Pffft. Friends. Right? Cuz you know EVERYTHING about us, huh, Dean?” She yelled. “Well, you don’t! You’ve been here barely a year and you don’t know us at all! And you surely don’t know me!”

Dean sobered up quickly. 

“Charlie, what-” He tried to reach his friend but she pulled back.

“Don’t! You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through and you’ll probably never know cause you’re leaving to who knows where for college and cause you don’t care.” He flinched.

“Charlie!” Dean yelled after her. 

“Shut up, Dean.” Charlie said, but there was no real anger behind it. All Dean could hear was sadness. 

“Where are you going?” He asked, not really wanting to leave her alone. 

“To the bathroom!” she called over her shoulder as she quickly moved away from him. 

He blinked. What the hell had just happened? He needed more alcohol.

♫♫♫♫♫

Castiel was dancing and jumping to the  _ She Just a Girl, Eddie _ when he noticed Dean having a heated argument with Charlie. Were they fighting, he wondered. He saw Dean looking dumbfounded, watching her go. Castiel looked for her and felt relieved to see her going to the restrooms. He stopped dancing to watch Dean look for someone.

“Cassie, what’s wrong?” Balthazar asked.

“I don’t know. Something happened between Dean and Charlie.” 

Balthazar stopped as well and looked at his friend. He was drinking a beer. His classmate smiled but he frowned. “They’ll be alright. He sure seems like it.”

He shook his head. “No, I should check what’s wrong.”

A slow song started to play and Balthazar took him into his arms and swung along. 

“Zar, what are you doing?” Cas questioned, still preoccupied with the situation. 

“Dancing. Obviously.” His friend replied in his smooth and soothing voice. 

“Yes, I see that. But why hold me?” Cas asked, attention finally back on the man he had been dancing with. 

Balthazar gave him a funny look. “You know what Castiel? I’m done waiting for you to realize, to  _ see me _ .”

Castiel stopped moving, but kept his hands where they were. “Zar, you’re a good guy and an amazing friend but I-”

“You’re in love with Dean.” 

He gasped. “I’m not-”

“Don’t try to deny it, Castiel. You’re pathetically gone for Dean Winchester and you won’t try to do anything about it.” Balthazar said. “I’ve tried so hard for you to see him instead. Spent a whole year in fact, I don’t seem to measure up to Dean Winchester.”

“Dean’s my friend, and he’s most likely straight.” Cas muttered, all his feelings coming to the surface. 

Balthazar snorted. Cas frowned. 

“What? Why are you making that sound?”

“No reason. If you think he doesn’t bat for your team, why not try with someone who does? Someone like me?” Balthazar asked so hopeful, so sure of himself.

Cas stuttered. “I… I’m sorry Balthazar, but I don’t see you that way. You’ve been a good friend for the past year but that’s all that’s gonna happen between us.”

Finally, he let go of his hands and stepped back. The song was ending. 

His friend –if he still was after this fiasco – smiled, not really meaning it, at him. “I hope you get what you deserve, Castiel.”

He got close to him and for a second, Castiel thought he was going to kiss him. But no, Balthazar just pecked him on the cheek and left.

A new song was starting, giving Castiel a cue to leave but someone came up real fast and took Balthazar’s place as his dance partner.

Dean.

_ May not get back what we have, _

_ What I threw away. _

_ But you know I will do anything,  _

_ Anything you say. _

He must have seen whatever scene he must have done with Balthazar just now but he didn’t mention it at all. Dean stood in front of him and silently placed his hands on Castiel’s hips. Like instinct, he placed his own hands on Dean’s neck. It was an odd place for his hands to be, never having been there before, but it also felt sort of natural, as if they were supposed to be there all along.

_ Across a thousand miles of broken glass, _

_ On my hands and knees. _

_ I would crawl if for a moment, _

_ We could seize hostility. _

The beat of the song could be considered a mellow one, the voice singing was a soft one and the lyrics, they were romantic. The song was meant to envision romance. The moment he and Dean were having screamed romance. 

Something in Castiel’s stomach dropped and in his chest, where his heart resided, he felt a shiver. A cold shiver that surrounded the upper part of his body and let him breathless.

_ Never between it’s over, _

_ But lately I have found, _

_ That you only seem to come alive, _

_ When I’m not around. _

Dean’s eyes were so green and so bright and so heartwarming that for a moment they distracted him for the real reason his eyes were bright.

“You’ve been drinking.” It wasn’t a question.

_ But it seemed like a such a good idea at the time, _

_ Such a very, very good idea at the time. _

“No.” Dean denied, just a little too quickly. 

“Dean.” Cas just stared at him. 

“Maybe just a little bit.” Dean said, shame creeping in.

“Why? You promised not to drink in case I wanted to get back tonight.” Castiel’s face fell.

_ I don’t know where I am. _

_ Don’t know where I went wrong. _

_ Over the wedding stone, _

Dean smiled, unaware of his disappointment. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

_ Again. _

They kept dancing and Dean kept smiling at him as if he knew something he didn’t. Castiel felt his blood boil.

“At least we have the hotel room.” He sighed. “I should’ve known this would happen.”

Dean abruptly stopped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You had a responsibility, to not drink and drive us back home or to be the conscious one if something happened! But you decided to have who knows how many beers or shots or whatever and make us stay here because the rest of us  _ have also been drinking _ .” He turned his face to the stage where the band kept playing. “You say you can handle things and then you don’t.”

He felt Dean’s hands slipping away from him, and then his own hands were being taken from the hold he had on his neck.

He turned to stare at his friend and he found a down face he had never really seen on Dean before. 

“Sorry for being a screw-up.” He said.

That sobered Castiel up.

“Dean, that’s not-” Cas tried to fix what his big mouth had said.

“It’s okay. I get it. I’m gonna see what Charlie and Garth are doing, ‘kay? Enjoy the rest of the show.”

He left. He left him as he’ll leave in a few weeks.


	5. summer '18 - the way you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys uncover a mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main song for the chapter : Perfect by Alanis Morissette

Everything was not fine, Castiel thought.

Dean wasn’t  _ not _ speaking to him, except that he really wasn’t speaking to him either, all their interactions had been tinged with an awkwardness that Castiel couldn’t fully wrap his mind around. Charlie had been in a sour mood since the trip and every time he tried to speak with her, she said “ask Dean”.

And he couldn’t ask him because he wasn’t speaking to him, no matter what he tried to say!

He only had Garth to talk to but he had met a girl at the club named Bess and he’d been glued to his phone since then. Of course, there was his brother but Gabriel could give really bad advice so he preferred not to ask.

Castiel had only one person to talk to about this and she was miles away from home. Luckily, the internet existed.

It was his day off. He could’ve helped Garth and Gabriel training their new employees, Sam, Kevin and twins Max and Alicia. The rest of the employees had just graduated and were going to college and Gabriel wanted him to focus more on school so they were hiring new people.

He didn’t go. He went to the beach and sat on a bench beside the road. In front of him were the sea and hundreds of tourists enjoying the day. He still felt lonely.

He took his phone out and video-called his other best friend.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to come back to me.” Meg smiled while saying that.

“Oh you know me, can’t seem to stay away from you.” Cas shot back, falling right back into their usual banter. 

“Damn right you can’t Clarence. I’ve missed you.” Meg gave him a small smile. 

“Missed you too Meg.” And he did, he truly did. Cas looked at his friend, seeing if there was anything different about her or if he could sense if anything was wrong. Much to his pleasure, Meg looked fine. Her hair was shorter and was back to being brown. “How’s everything going out there? Good for you?” 

“Oh yes, everything’s amazing. My uncle Crowley is a little shit but we actually get along and as long as I don’t ask about his devious business, he doesn’t care what I do.” Meg told him. 

Castiel frowned. “Is that good?”

“It’s great, Clarence!” He had to admit, Meg looked happy and relaxed. “Classes are great too, half my classmates are idiots and the other half are just weirdos, so we get along great.”

“That’s great.” He nodded.

She raised her eyebrow. “Now that that’s out of the way, be honest and tell me why did you call.” 

He sighed. There was no point in trying to hide anything from Meg. She knew him better than he knew himself. He told her everything. 

“Castiel Milton, you can be such an dick sometimes.” Meg scolded him, shaking her head at her best friend’s cluelessness.

“I know,” He rubbed his face in frustration, “I know what I said was wrong, I know I fucked up and I already said I was sorry. But now Dean hates me and Charlie is still angry and I don’t know what to do!” 

He groaned. He felt useless.

He stared at Meg, looking for something, anything in her face, in her eyes that will help him figure out how to fix it. Was there a way to fix it?

Her eyes were soft; her whole face was. Oh no, she was pitying him.

“I know you and your brain, darling. It’s not pity what you’re seeing.” Meg tried to reassure Castiel. 

“Then what is it?” Cas asked, defeated.

She scoffed. “You’re in love. And you’re at a crossroad.” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, not what you wanted to hear. But you are, Cas.”

He gulped, his throat feeling dry. “I know.”

Castiel bit his knuckles and looked around him, trying to steady his heart beat. He sees a familiar head with red hair passing by, not really paying attention to anything around her. 

“Charlie?” Cas said aloud, worry seeping into his voice. 

He got up from the bench, forgetting completely about Meg. Of course, she kept calling out to him so he apologized, assured her that he’ll call later and hung up. Where was Charlie going?

She still looked sad. She was walking down the street, towards her yellow Gremlin. She was going somewhere. Castiel didn’t stop to think about the consequences, he unlocked his bike and followed her.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he was worried about his friend too. He’d known her for years but he’d never seen her like the past few days. He may not be able to fix whatever was happening to her but he sure as hell could be there for her.

He slowed when he saw her park. He narrowed his eyes, noticing where they were.

“The hospital.” He murmured. 

“You’re fast with that thing.” Castiel jumped, almost falling.

Dean. On his skateboard.

“What are you doing here?” Cas asked. 

Dean grinned. He missed that grin. “The same as you, I assume.” Dean pointed at the hospital’s entrance. “Following Charlie and trying to understand.”

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Dean since his birthday. He had. He had seen him almost every day since then, but they’ve been apart, not really talking. He had barely waved at him. Seeing him here, in front of him and so close, it made him shiver in anticipation. 

“Dean.” Cas started, trying to muster his courage to talk to his friend. 

Dean was staring at the entrance, not at him.

“C’mon, let’s follow her before we lose her.” Dean said, effectively cutting Cas and anything he wanted to say off. 

And he was gone.

He followed him inside, catching up to Charlie before she got out of their sight.

“Charles!” Dean yelled.

She froze. She didn’t turn immediately though, probably trying to come with an excuse about what she was doing here. Her shoulders were tense, her hands were fists. She turned slowly, her lips pressed tightly together. Castiel was expecting her to be pissed but she seemed to be more… resigned to her fate. She was waiting for it to happen at some point.

“You found me. Yay.” Charlie said, sarcasm flowing into her voice.

Castiel sighed. “Yeah. I wish we didn’t have to come in following you to try and find you, to try and talk to you, dammit!” He swore. It was a bit uncommon for Castiel to swear but he was pissed. “I’ve known you for years, Charlie, since you were a freshman, with long hair, braces and awful glasses that made you look even more of a nerd that you are.” He scoffed. “You’re one of my best friends, Charlie. You’re funny, supportive, amazing, you don’t take shit from anything or anyone and, god, you’re so brave, Charlie, so fucking brave.”

Castiel gulped. He fought back the tears he knew were coming.

“But something’s been wrong with you for weeks. Hell, for months. Maybe something’s been wrong since the moment you came to Graceport but I was too blind to see it. To see you. And I’m sorry but I’m here now. Dean and I are here now for you and everyone from the Garrison, even if they’re not here, will be there for you too.” 

His friend was sniffling, he knew.

“So please, don’t shut us down. Please, I beg you.” Cas’ speech came to an end as he was actively trying not to cry. 

Charlie pressed her lips together, holding her emotions at bay. Slowly, she shook her head. 

“Okay. Fine. You can come.” Charlie muttered.

She said nothing else, sighed, turned her back and started to walk toward the elevator.

♫♫♫♫♫

Charlie didn’t try to make them leave, like Dean thought she would. She sighed loudly but didn’t tell them to go. No, she turned her back again and walked. She made a move with her hand, telling them to follow her. Good enough for him.

Graceport General was big, it had to be with tourists lurking their streets all around. Accidents tended to happen in the summer and the waiting room alone today was proof of that. Dean didn’t really mind hospitals. His family hadn’t spent a lot of time in them, he and his brother had never been very sickly kids and if they had a fever, a soldier medic was good enough to check on them so he hadn’t been in a lot of hospitals.

That doesn’t mean he enjoyed the place.

The smell of sickness and medicine (how ironic is that?) could make Dean’s stomach curl in disgust. The combinations of smells were too powerful for him and it started to give him a headache and possibly a tummy ache as well.

They rode an elevator to the fifth floor. A plaque near the roof said  _ Intensive Care Unit _ . What were they doing in the ICU? Charlie seemed to know the place well, even waving at a few nurses and other patients and visitors. Finally, she stopped. She took a deep breath, still not looking at them. Her hands were still fists when she entered a room. 

There was music, a soft song by Janis Joplin playing from a stereo.  _ Maybe _ . 

The woman in the bed was connected to a lot of machines. She couldn’t breathe on her own. Dean stared at the unconscious person some more, noticing familiar things in her features. Same mouth and nose, same skin tone, hell even same hair color. The woman looked just like Charlie. Or, Charlie looked just like the woman.

“Charles…” Dean whispered, finally understanding why Charlie had been acting the way she was. 

She nodded. “This is my mother.” Dean couldn’t see her, Charlie was standing behind him and Cas, but he could hear her choking up. “My parents and I were in an accident when I was twelve. My dad died on the spot and my mom…she’s been like this since then.”

She sniffed.

“I only got some broken bones but I turned out alright. My uncle Frank got custody of me and he took care of my mom, his sister, since then. I tried to help with the expenses at first but he assured me there was nothing to worry about.” She laughed sadly. “He’s a weird dude, doesn’t trust anybody, but he loved his sister. He still does.”

“I, I, I- “, Cas stuttered

“That’s why I didn’t want to go to college so far away. To be close to her.” She explained. 

“Charlie.” Dean started to say.

“I’m sorry I lied, guys. But I can’t let her go yet, I can’t. And it’s been killing me.” Charlie gritted out, still trying to be strong. Still not wanting the tears to fall. 

At that, Dean couldn’t take it. He grabbed her by the shoulders so she could see them, at last. “You don’t own us anything, Charlie. This situation is beyond any silly disagreement we could ever have.” He stood quiet. “I’m sorry.” With those words, Charlie broke. All the tears and frustration and anger and sadness and grief came flowing out. 

Cas, who was next to him, approached their friend. He cleaned the tears rolling down her face and held her tight. “I’m sorry too.”

Her eyes kept swelling up, her nose wrinkling. He approached them too and held her as well. Each of them on each shoulder.

“For the past few months, she’s been having close calls and the pressure and anger caught up with me. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, Dean and I’m sorry, you’re my best friend and I love you.” Charlie whispered, her voice muffled by Dean’s chest. 

“I love you too, Charlie.” Dean whispered back. 

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed through his shirt but he didn’t mind. He held her tight, giving her his entire support. He kissed her head and looked up, to stare at Cas.

♫♫♫♫♫

Castiel had known Charlie for years, from the moment she got to town. She had always appeared to him as dauntless, afraid of nothing. He understood now, her biggest fear was condensed in this hospital room. 

He stepped close to them, never leaving Dean’s eyes and hugged his friend too. His body warmth surrounded Charlie and his hands holding Dean’s back. 

Dean and him were the same height now, their eyes at the same level. 

He gulped.

He loved his best friend and yet he would never tell him because he was afraid. Charlie kept crying between them, Castiel holding her tighter. He needed to make her feel better and this is the only thing he knew he could do. A soft song started playing from the speakers in the room.

_ Be a good boy _

_ Try a little harder _

_ You’ve got to measure up _

_ Make me prouder _

Louder whimpers came from Charlie’s throat and Castiel was also starting to choke up. He stared at the woman, Charlie’s mom, lying on her bed, unaware of the powerful feelings her daughter and her friends were expressing.

_ Be a good girl _

_ You’ve gotta try a little harder _

_ That simply wasn’t good enough _

_ To make us proud _

His eyes jumped to Dean’s, leafy green although this time, there was redness in them, his face swelling. Castiel couldn’t even begin to think how puffy his face must look. 

_ I’ll live through you _

_ I’ll make you what I never was _

_ If you’re the best, then maybe so am I _

While looking at Dean, Castiel tried to say everything he hadn’t yet with his eyes. I’m sorry. I was an idiot. And drunk, but that’s no excuse. I love you.

_ Compared to him compared to her _

_ I’m doing this for your own damn good _

_ You’ll make up for what I blew _

_ What’s the problem, why are you crying _

At that last lyric, Charlie’s whimpers became louder, forcing them to hug her even tighter, therefore they got even closer. Castiel could see Dean’s adam's apple bobbing up and down. He could see him kissing their friend’s head and whispering things to calm her down. Cas knew what Dean was doing. He did it all the time; to everyone. He was pushing his own feelings aside for Charlie, so she could let it all out. He had to be the rock, always. The one that stayed strong no matter how hard the situation got. For the past year, he had never seen Dean get super upset or mad. He always appeared to be in control.

_ Be a good boy _

_ Push a little farther now _

_ That wasn’t fast enough _

_ To make us happy _

_ We’ll love you just the way you are _

_ If you’re perfect _

The song was over but they kept crying, they kept holding each other.

Cas stepped outside the hospital, leaving out a big gulp of air. Those had been the most intense hours of his life and although he didn’t want to repeat them. He had already agreed with Charlie to visit her mother more often with her. It was fine, he thought, he wanted to get to know his friend even more. He smiled.

A small bump near his hip caught his attention. He looked down and next to him, was his bike. And holding his bike, was Dean. In his other arm, he was carrying his skateboard. Castiel took the hint. 

“How did you know the lock’s combination?” Cas asked, voice quiet.

Dean rolled his eyes. “As if I don’t know you.”

“Alright Alicia.” Cas shot back, a familiarity returning to their conversation. 

By his comment, Dean took a step back. “Did you just…make a  _ Clueless _ reference?”

He smiled. “I learned from the best.”

Dean smiled back. “Yeah, you did.”

They walked together, back to the shop. Cas had been on a shift and Gabe would surely kill him for bailing but hey, he was half boss too, he could take a break! An almost three-hour break though, not so much.

They walked in silence, just observing the people around them. That was a thing they usually do in their free time together. They sit in places together, Dean probably eating something with sugar or drinking a smoothie, Castiel with one earphone on and the other one hanging from the cord until his friend takes it to listen to whatever he listens to. Just, watching the people around them.

“I gave the Impala back to my dad.” Dean said, breaking the silence.

What?

“What, why?” Castiel asked. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Cause I’m not going to college.” Castiel didn’t understand, and he asked Dean that. “I don’t know what to do, man.”

“Dean…” He murmured.

“The whole point for me getting Baby was to travel to wherever place I ended up going to school. But the truth is, I have no idea what I want to do or to study. I’m lost. I’m fucked up. So, I’m not going. I can’t go.” Dean admitted. 

“You’re not fucked up, Dean. You’re choosing a healthy decision here. Instead of being unhappy, you’re taking time off to decide what to do with your life and I think that’s wonderful.” 

“How can you say that? You’re in college!” Dean shot back. 

He rolled his eyes. “Dean. I’m studying numbers, that’s not exactly a passion of mine.”

“But you’re doing it because your real passion depends on you knowing what to do with those numbers.” Dean argued back. 

He sighed. “You’re right. I’m lucky, Dean, to have something I love that I know I can go back to every day. You don’t. You don’t know what your calling is. And that’s okay.”

After the intense crying they just had in the hospital, it was no surprise Dean had still some tears left in him but it still didn't prepare Castiel for the emptiness in his chest that the sight made him feel.

“Is it really okay?” Dean whispered. Cas had never heard the boy in front of him sound so broken. 

“Of course it is. We live in an art city too, Dean. You live with people who paint, sing, dance, create every day. People who follow their dreams no matter what. Of course you want to have a dream too.” Cas said, trying to reassure him. 

Castiel took a look at the place they were standing, finding a bench. “Come on.” He made his friend sit, leaving their stuff on the floor. “What did your parents say?”

After breathing, Dean replied. “My mom understood. Dad though, he was oddly calm about it. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem angry either.”

Silence.

“You really give him Baby back?” Cas asked, still not quite believing it.

Dean, who was staring at the beach, turned to look at him. “Yeah. It was the right thing to do, right?”

“I think so, yes.” He smiled at him.

Dean smiled too. “Good. I didn’t want you to think I was some loser.”

“You’re my best friend, Dean Winchester. I could never think of you as a loser. You can be a geek, and a nerd, no matter how much you deny it. But you’re not a loser. You’re amazing and I’m proud of you.” Cas told him. He looked over at the boy next to him and he felt his heart pounding even faster than ever.

“Thanks, Cas.” 

They didn’t talk about his birthday. They didn’t need to. They both had said things, things they probably shouldn’t have said but maybe, they were somewhat true. 

They took the long way back to the store, Dean holding his skateboard and Cas walking next to his bike. They talked like they haven’t in a while. 


	6. summer '19 - the silver lining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three main songs on this chapter but the one that gives the chapter its title is : The Heart of Life by John Mayer.  
> The other ones are  
> \- I Know A Place by MUNA  
> \- Be With You by Enrique Iglesias

This year hadn’t been a bad one for Castiel, so far. At least, it hadn’t been a bad one until summer started. New tourists, and therefore new clients, arrived at the beginning of June and that meant new young girls that Dean could flirt shamelessly with. His best friend had been grinning more, battling his eyelashes more (did guys do that?), and giving away more phone numbers that he could ever remember.

Castiel sighed. It was not Dean’s fault that he had started to fill out for the past year.

Getting older meant also getting hotter for Dean and Castiel was, although enjoying it when he was alone with him, dreading it because everyone else was starting to catch up too.

Dean had always been attractive, with his dirty blond hair, easy smile and slim body. But now, his hair was getting darker and darker each day, the freckles on his nose were more prominent because of the sun, he was getting taller and he seemed to start developing muscle.

And he had never really cared about someone else’s physique before but Dean’s ass was getting rounder and rounder each day and he couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Cas wanted to take his eyes out so he didn’t have to see.

Of course, Castiel’s own body was also changing. He grew taller too, but not taller than Dean, he started running on the beach which gave him thick thighs and toned calves. Castiel was also getting a darker tan from the running. His sexual appetite was also growing and he hated it because the only person he wanted was Dean and he could never have that.

Dean was going on dates.

His father still let him borrow the Impala, old rule be damned, so he took his dates for a ride in Baby and probably took them to the cliff where you could make out with your dates. Castiel wasn’t sure, Dean never really told him where he took his dates. They were meaningless, of course. He never repeated but still, Castiel got jealous and angry every time he saw the black car leaving the parking spot.

It wasn’t really a secret anymore in the store.

Even Sam, Dean’s little brother, knew what was going on with his bad mood, but the kid never said anything so he didn’t have to worry about Dean finding out.

So, Castiel had tried for the last year to go on dates too. It hadn’t been that much of success though. He went to parties, he flirted, he drank, he even smoked pot once, it gave him a headache and giggles at the same time and he still couldn’t explain why, but he hadn’t found what he was looking for.

He even tried sleeping with someone, but in the end he couldn’t go through it and bailed. He ended up throwing up behind an alley after that experience. He stopped going out for a while too. It wasn’t hard to figure out why he couldn’t go through it either. Dean. The man, because he looked like one now, kept invading his thoughts at every opportunity.

Now, it was a Saturday and Dean had a date. 

The pretty black-haired girl with the yoga pants had been flirting with his friend the moment she set eyes on him. Dean had been very welcome of her advances, and he took her number when she offered it. 

Castiel had almost punched the wall, but didn’t in the end.

That night, he hadn’t slept one bit.

Cas stepped out of the shop the minute his shift was over. Dean was due in five minutes and he really didn’t want to see him. He didn’t want to hear him bragging about his awesome date and how beautiful the girl was and how she was probably a good kisser she was. Luckily for him, and his sanity, Dean had never bragged about sleeping with anyone, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened and it surely didn’t mean one day he wouldn’t brag about that. 

With this heart bruised, he didn’t want to challenge his luck.

He went home, on the bike. He checked the mail, there was nothing, and went inside the house. It was half past seven. It was the final days of summer and the Garrison had been closing really late at night lately, Gabe was trying out a new schedule for the employees but Castiel didn’t think it would work.

His mom was home, weirdly.  _ She was supposed to be on a shift _ , he thought.

“Hey mom.” Cas yelled, greeting his mother. 

“Hi sweetie!” She called out from the kitchen. He stood near the door, watching his mom baking. Baking.

“Dear baby Jesus, what in the world are you doing?” Cas asked, not fully believing the sight in front of him. 

“Baking!” his mother exclaimed, surely feeling quite proud of herself.

Castiel blinked several times. “I see that. Why?”

His mom shrugged. “I just thought of trying something new.” He gave her a face.  _ The _ face. The ‘I’m not buying your crap’ face. “Fine. I promised Marie Flint to help for the Out of Summer Festival for next weekend with baked goods.”

“Marie Flint? The crazy teenager who wears a girl scout hat even though she hasn’t been a girl scout in years who’s also really good at convincing people to do stuff they don’t wanna do?” Cas said, knowing that the girl could convince God themself to sell their soul to a crossroads demon. His mother didn’t stand a chance. 

“Yep.” Anna sighed, seemingly resigned to her fate. 

“Oh, you’re screwed.” Cas laughed.

“Language!” She flicked a blob of dough at Cas. 

“Alright, alright. You’re still screwed.” Cas snickered, picking at the dough that landed on his shirt. 

She sighed. “I know. Help me?”

Castiel snorted. “You’ll have better luck with Gabe helping you out on that one.” He sent her a smile her way. “Don’t worry mom, you’ll do great.” Castiel walked near her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. 

Anna Milton was short. Or maybe, Castiel was too tall now but his mom would always feel too big for his own good. He loved her.

“I’ll go to my room. Good luck on the baking.” Cas called, trying to get out of the kitchen before his mom guilt tripped him into helping. 

“You’re not gonna eat something?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Not hungry.” Castiel started to walk towards his room when his mom called him again.

“I forgot! Something came for you in the mail. It’s in your bed.” she called down the hall.

He squinted his eyes, surprised. He got mail?

There, on his bed, was a package. A small envelope that looked a bit bulky. He took it and opened it, curiosity getting the better of him. It was a mixtape inside a transparent case with doodles on it.

A mixtape.

The only person who ever had given him a mixtape was Dean. His heart sped up and a small seed of hope bloomed in his chest before he could convince himself not to.

Castiel opened the case fast, not paying attention to the drawings and color on it. He searched for the Walkman he used to listen to the Led Zepp mixtape and placed the new tape in. He put the headphones on and hit play.

“Hey Cas. It’s Dean. Obviously. I know you must be wondering why I sent you this and why it exists in the first place.”

Listening to his voice, right into his eardrums, it made Castiel tear up a bit. As if Dean were whispering soft words to him. Loving words. The kind of words that Cas had always wanted to hear from Dean. The speck of hope was blossoming into a flower and Castiel didn’t even try to stop it. There was no use. He was too far gone for the boy on the other end of the headphones. 

“The first song, at least for me, is about the Garrison, the place we met, where we laugh and have fun. Where you became my best friend.”

Three seconds later and the song started. It didn’t take long for him to recognize it. He was the one that showed Dean that band. 

_ I know a place; I know a place we can go _

_ Where everyone gonna lay down their weapon _

Castiel listened carefully and thought out the lyrics. The song, for him, was more about two people helping each other to heal their wounds. 

_ I know a place we can run _

_ Where everyone gonna lay down their weapon _

But it was also about trust too, about feeling comfortable with someone else and finding a  _ place _ where you both can be happy together. Exactly what they were to each other. A place of comfort, of safety, where there was no room for judgment. 

_ Don’t you be afraid of love and affection _

_ Just lay down your weapon. _

When the song stopped, Cas paused it. Emotion filled his thoughts and he almost felt like crying. He couldn’t though, he needed to finish it. He needed to hear it all so he could understand what was going on.

He hit play again.

“Song número dos, well, it’s about you, it’s about me and it’s about the both of us. There’s not much to say besides that, yeah.” Dean’s smooth voice explained.

_ I hate to see you cry. _

Dean does hate to see him cry.

_ Laying there in that position. _

_ There’s things you need to hear. _

Does he?

_ So turn off your tears and listen _ .

For a second there, Castiel thought that Dean was actually looking at him tear up while listening to John Mayer. He wasn’t though. He just knew him that well. The flower had turned into a tree of hope at this point. Cas knew it was dangerous to let himself get this deep into this delusional feeling, but how could he stop himself? 

_ Pain throws your heart to the ground _

_ Love turns the whole thing around _

_ No, it won’t go all the way, it should _

_ But I know the heart of life is good _

Castiel felt overwhelmed. What did it mean? Why would Dean send him a tape with a song as romantic as The Heart of Life was? Castiel loved this song. He had mentioned it to Dean once or twice and now, it was here, in this mixtape that was trying to tell him something. Something important.

_ You know it’s nothing new _

_ Bad news never had good timing _

_ But then the circle of your friends _

_ Will defend the silver lining _

He sniffed.

_ But I know the heart of life is good _

_ I know it’s good _

He paused again.

Castiel was full on crying now and he couldn’t stop it. He tried to suffocate his sobbing so his mother wouldn’t listen. His right hand was gripping his shirt, right where his heart was supposed to be. He was hurting. His heart was breaking. There was no way that Dean felt the same as he did. Not wonderful Dean Winchester. If this was a joke or a best friends thing, it was cruel and inhuman.

He held back the rest of his tears and did breathing exercises. He breathed in, breathed out. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on not crying. He needed to calm down. He had to finish the tape.

Play.

“Cas, man. I’m being pretty obvious with the third one but I also know you can be very dense. Or maybe, you’re just protecting your heart by being dense. I don’t know. I’m not Dr. Phil and I ain’t trying to be but… I suck at talking about feelings. I hate doing it, that’s not how I was raised. But I told my parents something important and the world didn’t end. So, if I could tell them, I can definitely tell you. But, not like this. It has to be in person. This song, I hate this song just so you know, but you probably like it because you can’t hate anything, no matter how hideous it is. I chose this song because the lyrics are pretty obvious but if you still don’t get it, read the case and look closely. Please.” Dean’s voice was filled with a mixture of hope and pain. Like he had been holding back and he was tired. Cas needed to know. He took a deep breath and hit play. 

While he listened to Enrique Iglesias –Dean was right, this wasn’t his type of music at all, it surprised Cas he had actually chosen this song– his world stopped for a second. The lyrics  _ were _ obvious.

_ And I can’t go on _

_ I wanna be with you _

Castiel couldn’t believe it at first, even when listening to the very clear message. Dean wanted him. He wanted him. Castiel. Cas. Dean wanted Cas. Him. And it was not a joke. Surely. Hopefully. He wasn’t sure.

The song came to an end. There was nothing recorded after. No new song. No Dean. Castiel sighed. He still wasn’t sure. Although everything was there, in the songs, the messages were clear but Dean, still, could be wrong. He could be confused. He could be…

He had started pacing right before his thoughts started to take him to a bad place when he stepped on something. The case. He didn’t break it, thankfully. He took the case in his hand and examined it. Dean had said he should read it with precision. The case had been painted on, with markers and paint. There was also a piece of paper glued in, with the songs written on. 

His lights were off, the only light in the bedroom was the moon.

Castiel turned his lamp on and saw it then.

The titles of the three songs were written down in order. The first word from the first song, the second word from the second, and the third word from the third one were encircled with red ink, forming a phrase like in a word puzzle. It said ‘I-Heart-You’.

He stared at the case some more, his heart rate probably picking up. Castiel was out the door a moment later.

♫♫♫♫♫

Dean felt trapped, by what, he wasn’t sure. The moment he dropped that mail at Cas’ house, he knew his life would change forever. And didn’t regret it, he never could. Cause it was Cas. Even if he didn’t feel the same, Dean knew his friend would still be his friend. He realized that now.

So, Dean wasn’t afraid of losing his best friend. He was afraid of getting his heart broken.

He still couldn’t believe he did that. Last night, the date he had opened his eyes.

Lisa was fine. She was pretty, hot and nice enough. But through the whole date, Dean couldn’t stop thinking about Cas. It was nothing new, really. In almost all the dates he had had for the past year, his mind had always wandered right back to Castiel.

To his stupidly blue eyes.

To his always messy hair.

To his lopsided grin.

To Cas.

But he was good at hiding his feelings in front of the dates. But this time, he couldn’t stop comparing her to Cas, which was ridiculous cause there weren’t any real similarities apart from their hair color and eyes.

He had even started to talk about Cas in front of Lisa and she hadn’t minded. She’d just looked at him with her big bambi eyes and said “You must really love him.”

And yeah, he did. He loved Cas.

It shouldn’t have been the big revelation he had felt at the time. He kind of knew. The moment he had met Cas at the shop, he’d been gone.

But he’d been younger and stupid and thought he could hide his feelings from the world. And he’d been wrong because everyone around them seemed to know.

The second he’d been back home, he told his parents he wasn’t straight.

“I like guys as much as I like girls.” Dean blurted out, not being able to hold it in any longer. 

They didn’t even look up. Sam had just smiled smugly at him and mouthed a ‘finally’ at him.

“We know, son”. His father had said.

“We love you, Dean, we always will.” His mother had added.

Needless to say, Dean had been a little disappointed that his big coming out wasn’t as big as he thought it’d be.

Sam, of course, couldn’t resist being a little shit. “So that means you’re finally going to ask Cas out?”

At that, their parents did look up and exclaimed at the same times as it was rehearsed. “You’re not dating Cas?”

Dean had never laughed so hard in his life before. He’d been dating Cas this whole time and never realized. It was time for the other part to realize too.

He’d been awake all night working on the perfect way to tell Cas he wanted him. The idea came while he’d driven back home after dropping off Lisa at her hotel. A song, an awful totally not his style but Cas’, by Enrique Iglesias had started playing on the radio and although he hated the music, the lyrics were obvious, they said I want to be with you, kiss you, love you. It was exactly what he needed to say, what he wanted to say.

The other two songs were easy to choose from there.

Now, Dean was at his late night shift on a Sunday at the Garrison and waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

He got close to the door and stared outside. The streets were practically empty. The lights were on but not a soul was walking beneath them. The shop itself had barely three clients, college students that were still milking the last of their vacation days.

With the lack of clientele, Gabriel took off, leaving Charlie in charge. The redhead was feeling better, her mother was still in the hospital with no change, but at least she wasn’t in the danger she had been the year before. Charlie was smiling, enjoying herself with their friends and that made Dean happy as well.

Out of nowhere, Max put some latin music that was considered great for sexy dancing. Except, of course, for Dean because he could barely dance and less so dancing sexily.

His friends started dancing and-

“Is that twerking?” He asked in general.

Alicia is the one that replied and Dean which she hadn’t. “No, Dean-o, it’s  _ perreo _ !”

Yeah, Dean was out of there the minute he saw her shaking her ass in a really weird way. Alicia was pretty but a) she was sixteen, and b) she wasn’t Cas.

He crossed the street down the ocean. The place is usually filled with parked cars and food stops but not tonight. He got to where the pavement became sand, took off his shoes and touched the sand. He breathed in.

Salty air, he loved it.

They must have noticed his absence because the outside speakers were turned on to play another one of those songs, probably just to spite him.

He was tired. Not just physically, but emotionally. He was tired of hiding. Tired of waiting. Tired of wanting. 

He sat on the boardwalk, his feet still on the sand. He could be seen from the Garrison so he wasn’t worried something might happen to him. He hid his face in his hands and hoped he hadn’t made a mistake.

  
  


♫♫♫♫♫

Castiel ran.

He ran faster than he’d ever ran before and he ran even more.

He passed his neighborhood, his old school, the dozens of stores, all closed, that he passed every day on his bike and he kept running. The town was deserted. Weird, considering it was almost ten o’clock but with the summer almost over, the parents must be trying to get their kids back in the school routine. Castiel still remembered those times of waking up early. He didn’t really miss it.

When he arrived at the Garrison, he was breathing heavily, his heart was pounding and it felt as if it was going to come out of his chest but he didn’t care. He had to see Dean. He took a big gulp of air and looked inside the shop.

He wasn’t there. 

From a street away, Castiel had been able to hear a famous  _ reggaeton _ song named  _ Gasolina _ , probably Max or Alicia’s doing. He could picture Garth choosing that song as well but his friend was busy studying and working on his comedy channel on YouTube so he worked odd hours at the shop.

They were dancing.

His friends were having fun and they were dancing. Even Charlie, who still had sad moments and rage issues, was enjoying herself. Castiel smiled. At least, his friends were happy even if everything ended up being a joke. He shook his head; he couldn’t think like that. He had to be optimistic.

He needed to see Dean.

The moon was up high in the sky and he still couldn’t see him. Bodies were dancing inside the shop but none were Dean. Where was he?

It was unlikely that he was at the back store, considering the lack of people. Also, it was a Sunday. They barely moved on a Sunday.

His eyes were scanning the surroundings, when he found him. Dean was sitting in the cold street, his back facing him. He seemed to be staring at the ocean, pensively. Castiel knew, he didn’t need to be looking at his face to know. His stiff shoulders, his curved back, a hand on his neck. Dean was over thinking.

Castiel couldn’t allow that. He walked, slow at first. There was no hurry, he was right there. While getting closer though, the music coming out of the Garrison changed to  _ My Life Would Suck Without You _ . The fast-paced of the song made him walk faster.

He sat next to Dean, his hands holding his face.

Castiel looked at his friend, lifted his chin, took his face into his hands and stared into his eyes. Leafy green.

“Cas…” Dean started.

Cas kissed him. And it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Dean kissed him back after a second or two, regaining his lost composure and it was even better. He nipped his beloved’s bottom lip to open up his mouth and intensify the kiss. Dean was holding him by the waist, his fingers feeling like fire while holding him steady. They were moaning. Castiel had never moaned alongside another person but the sounds were better than any melody he’d ever heard before.

They broke apart at the loud cheering from the Garrison. Their friends were idiots. Kelly Clarkson was still playing, happily.

Although they weren’t kissing anymore, they didn’t keep apart. Their foreheads were touching, their breathings synchronized. Castiel was unable to open his eyes yet, thinking Dean would disappear if he did. He felt a small kiss on his semi-opened lips, then on his nose, his eyelids, his cheeks. And then his mouth again.

Every peck made him gasp.

Their second kiss was slower, deeper in meaning, but less exploratory and lazier. Dean had his hands on his hair now, pulling and touching his nape once in a while. He loved it.

Cas was smiling through the kiss, happy.

Slowly, they pulled apart, but only by inches. Their faces were so close, Cas couldn’t see very well. He stared at Dean’s lips, all shiny and red. He had done that, Cas giggled.

He giggled.

He was doomed.

He lifted his eyes to stare at Dean’s, grinning.

“Hello, Dean.” His voice sounded hoarse.

“Hiya Cas.” Dean whispered back, not wanting to break the silence.

“I got your message.” Dean nodded, unable to speak more. “I love you too.” Dean laughed, the sound rich and elated. 

They kept kissing, a new song coming from the speakers while they went at it. Cas didn’t pay attention to what it was, for the first time it wasn’t important.


	7. summer '20 - true to my lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main song for the chapter : Lover by Taylor Swift

The morning started with dark clouds and heavy wind, unusual weather for a tourist trap like Graceport. Dean didn’t mind though, because bad weather meant sleeping in and sleeping in with Cas was the best kind of morning. This time, he was the big spoon so he snuggled into his boyfriend even more, leaving soft kisses on the nape of his neck and sighed. Dean couldn’t ask for a better start of his day.

A soft melody had just started to register in Dean’s brain, it playing downstairs.

_ Can I go where you go? _

Dean laughed at the song. He hated to say it but if there was a Taylor Swift song that could describe his relationship with Cas, it was this one.

_ You’re my, my, my, my lover _

Their days were usually busy, with Dean’s job at the library and looking for online courses for a degree on education and Cas’ classes in the day and taking care of the Garrison on the weekends. Their past year together had been far from perfect, but it had been theirs and it was everything they needed to be happy. They were happy.

However, it couldn’t all be sunshine and rainbows, or in their case, chrome and hard rock. A new illness was spreading throughout the world and Dean got slapped more than once for calling it the apocalypse. They weren’t thrilled that they were trapped in the shop for the next who knows how many weeks. But it was to stay healthy and let others be healthy too so they couldn’t complain. Much. It could be worse and this only gave them the opportunity to be with each other 24/7. So, there were really no complaints from them. 

They hadn’t been alone in the shop when the state had announced the quarantine. Sam had been with them, along with their new employee, Madison, so they were all together in the shop until further notice. Sam didn’t mind because he had the hugest crush on the girl and that made him play romantic songs like the already mentioned Tay-Tay. 

_ Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? _

_ With every guitar string scar on my hand _

_ I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover _

“Mmmm.” Cas was starting to wake up and that made Dean happy and forget about his brother downstairs. “What time is it?”

“Around eight.” Dean replied lowly, voice hoarse from sleep. 

“It’s still early.” He groaned.

“Yeah. Good thing I’m here for you, huh.” Dean said, playfully. He started to kiss his boyfriend’s jaw, the latter not complaining now.

Since Cas had moved to the apartment on top of the Garrison, Dean had practically moved in. Their parents didn’t mind because their relationship, according to them, had started since they met in 2017, they just hadn’t realized it then. And the couple agreed.

They had been too foolish, too stubborn, too young to see it, but everyone else had.

_ My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue _

_ All’s well that ends well to end up with you _

_ Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover _

The pair didn’t mind the years they lost though, because they had many years yet to come and they were going to enjoy them, every last bit.

**Author's Note:**

> You can hear the official playlist on [Spotify!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4FRJ4s7wmIwMRhg1F7yirN?si=soDUff2kTYm-vaBl4FRj4g)
> 
> And you can also follow me on [Tumblr!](https://dark3rainbow.tumblr.com/)


End file.
